Sweating him!
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 9:45am |
I've recently begun dating my tennis instructor. I took a few lessons with him last summer and we hit it off, had a mild flirtation, but kept it at that, as I was involved with someone else, and our rapport was just friendly overall. I've taken another two lessons this month, and now that my relationship has ended and I am single, the flirtation was back and we wound up deciding to go out for a drink. (By the way, I am not taking any more lessons with him, that I'd decided before anything happened, so no conflict of interest or seeing him other than any dates we go on). He's nice, he's fun, and it's easy and unstressful since we know each other.
We went out last Thursday and had a great time, and again this past Sunday. He said he'd call Monday or Tuesday to try to schedule a date for this weekend, but no word from him so far. He knows I'm busy Saturday, so I assume Friday would make the most sense to get together. So, now it is Wednesday and I have not heard from him and am starting to sweat him a little. I think he's into me -- on Sunday he joked about his roomies asking when they got to meet me, etc. -- but I am not entirely sure. And now that I haven't heard from him when he said he'd call, I'm doubting it more. Am I just getting all wound up about this for nothing? Should I just sit tight and see if he phones tonight? If I don't hear from him tonight or Thursday, do I take the hint that he's not into it or do I give him a call at that point (say Thursday) and see what's up? This is so middle school but I don't know what to do!

Pages
I'm sure you didn't misread him. I'm sure he encouraged you to think and feel the way you did. Men can be very cruel and careless with our hearts.
It's fine that you didn't call him because he wasn't worth it. Unfortunately you have dedicated too much time, energy and tears towards this man already. It also puts another kink in your faith in men. I'm sure you are curious and one day you might find out why he did what he did, but you will be unimpressed, I'm sure.
I know, you tried to be careful and dated someone you knew for a while and still got similar results to someone you could meet in a bar. Your first dating experience after a break up and it goes this way? That is a huge disappointment. I read somewhere that men sometimes dont call to test a woman, not just to blow her off and break up in a cowardly way. If that is true, that they do that to test us...what babies they are!! Only an immature idiot does something like that. Imagine dating someone whose need for an ego boost is more important that your feelings? How horrible.
It is okay if you feel hard, closed off and jaded. That is where you are right now. Maybe if you were not ready to date, then you should listen to your gut and take some time to heal from the long term relationship ending. Sometimes when you "get back out there" too soon you end up with more hurt that you have to deal with because the dating world is treacherous.
"I'm sure you didn't misread him. I'm sure he encouraged you to think and feel the way you did. Men can be very cruel and careless with our hearts."
Snafu hit it right on the mark. He is the one who was making "future" plans, however near future they were and then just dissapeared. Out of sight out of mind.
Good for you to not call and take his number out of your cell.
Don't give up on dating. Be true to yourself always and you'll find the right one. You have a long life ahead of you so don't rush it!
Patty
PATTY
~Dare to believe in yourself~
Just a random update on the disappearing guy...a colleague who takes lessons from him (and knew I had too, but knows nothing of our situation) just mentioned that he'd scheduled a lesson with him this week. So, I know he's not in a ditch somewhere, but rather, is simply lame.
I am more aggravated than upset over this. It's more the situation than him as a person. I guess it's just disappointing overall...very much a "what the" kind of situation that is boggling to me.
Part of me still does want to find out what happened, but I don't think my pride will let me call or email. Frustrating, very frustrating. Thanks again for everyone's input here.
Pages