Sweet dreams are made of these....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sweet dreams are made of these....
27
Fri, 02-13-2004 - 11:19am
I hope this edit makes my post more acceptable...

He's putting the little devil dog in the kennel again this weekend. Last weekend, the dog threw a tantrum in his cage, which was quite entertaining. He whined, moaned, barked, tried to dig his way out, shook the cage, and crunched his food really loud at us. When none of that worked, he faked like he was choking. It was hilarious! Just like a bad 3-year old!


Edited 2/13/2004 7:14:00 PM ET by jilly73

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 1:34am
OK, I rest my case - I specifically said my last post was not directed to you and you chose to take it that way - why - do you somehow feel empowered by pretending that I am personally attacking you. It comes down mostly to common sense and sensitivity and we are all guilty of having too little of one or both at times especially when we want to shout from the rooftops that we are happy and why we are happy - I stand by my original post - sharing about the dozen roses and the dinner, etc might have been a tad overboard in the details for a board where many are having dating issues and/or vday issues (see post below yours as only one example). I am not saying you meant to do what you did or even that you did anything wrong - just like you felt comfortable sharing the details of what your SO bought and did for you on Vday so far, I felt comfortable sharing my opinion that whether you meant to or not, it came across as gushy and a tad overboard in the details. I don't think he went overboard or was showing off - I found your description of it to be in that direction - and as far as your reference to dating success stories - that was a post where people were asked to share and I find that different than initiating a post where you share the details - again not saying it's wrong I just don't agree with your comparison.

You can choose to respond by sulking and claiming that I told you never to post about happy things - I didn't - or that I personally attacked you - I didn't - just your choice of words in a post in this particular context - but I stand by my original opinion - not to be right just to be entitled to share it here and you cannot censor me by posting back overblown bordering on hysterical misinterpretations.

I am glad all is going well with your boyfriend and I do hope it continues to go well for you. I also hope you read the datingdoyenne's post below which i found very heartfelt and in the true spirit of Vday.


Edited 2/14/2004 8:46:47 AM ET by deena33

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 6:31pm
That sounds cute - enjoy your weekend - nice try in claiming you were flamed on the other board - hopefully, I cleared that up - and if not it was worth the chuckle, believe me! I never asked you to change your post but since you seemed to want to that's fine too.

Have a great weekend - I mean that sincerely, and I hope you at some point understand the message I was trying to convey in the spirit in which it was intended. I intend to clear up, however, any impression that I was attempting to personally attack or flame you - I would never do such a thing - although I have to say under your own definition of flaming, you sure flamed me, and on another board yet. Wow.

I hope things continue to go well for you and your boyfriend - he sounds like a real gem, a really special man and I hope your love continues to grow. I mean that sincerely despite your attack on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 02-14-2004 - 9:51pm
While I realize that it states at the top of this board... "About This Community
Share your dating dilemmas, and get advice ..." I don't think that necessarily means that this board is all about the downside of dating. there is a good side to it too and it is (or should be) welcomed that those posters who have experienced successes and joy in dating post them here. These are the same posters (in many cases) who have been here before seeking advice...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 2:01pm
I simply wanted to share - not instruct - that I found her post a bit overboard - sharing happiness and dating succcesses is wonderful - detailing all the vday gifts she received on this particular board the day before vday I found a bit insensitive. I would never instruct - that she modified her post was her choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 3:09pm
Deena, my post was not directed at you specifically but rather to "ALL"...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 3:46pm
Gotcha. I struggled as to whether to respond in the first place; a friend of mine who also had vday plans agreed that I should - you cannot imagine on these boards as well as in my office and among my friends and acquaintances what a difficult day this was for so many - and how hard it was to watch all the flowers being purchased and to feel uncomfortable even going out to a restaurant - and just general tension. It's all about shades of gray - seeing a post that someone had nice plans for vday is one thing, but the details of this seemed a little bit "in our faces" particularly on this board. I felt badly that she misinterpreted and thought I was critcizing the posting at all about happy experiences, of course not. I heard from several friends this week that they were reluctant to talk to or hang out with friends in relationships because they just didn't want to hear the details - not that they weren't happy for them but that doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to all the romantic details.

A few months ago a friend I met through this community - we are no longer in touch - sent me a close up pic of her engagement ring - of course I was happy to hear her news and told her so - i asked nothing about the ring because what it looks like is so unimportant when compared to getting engaged to "the one" - I found her choice to send me a close up of the ring not the most tactful choice on her part. I never told her so of course but it made me feel weird (not jealous - I don't care about rings). My point is that I think it is a good thing to share happiness while keeping in mind your audience and perhaps toning down or omitting certain details if it is probably going to make someone feel sad or jealous. It is why I didn't post the details of my day even when there were posts on other singles boards that asked about vday plans - all of the responses were either about single friends activities or low key descriptions of a date - so I probably would not have posted about all of our plans out of sensitivity. Not saying it is wrong to have less sensitivity but I don't think it was wrong for me to suggest that perhaps her description was not the most sensitive given the context.

Thanks so much for listening - I realize I rambled and I am sorry about that and that is all I have to say on the issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 02-15-2004 - 9:29pm
Hey, I completely understand! Been there, done that... I have had good vday's and bad ones, this was not one of the better ones nor was it one of the worst.

 

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