Take a step back to take a steo forward?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Take a step back to take a steo forward?
1
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 9:49am
My boyfriend and I started things off way too fast. I mean, the night we kissed, we almost had sex. And a few nights later when we did have sex, we immediately started dating. We had no real time to establish a friendship before. My boyfriend brought this to my attention the other night, and I agree. He wants us to be more comfortable around each other, and be goofy with me instead of wondering when it’s the right time to make the move. We enjoy spending time together, he just wants us to “gel” more. We both agreed to lay off of sex and intimacy for a while and just focus on building a friendship so that we can further our relationship. I just don’t know where to start. How do you go backwards? How do you go from dating, to friends, to dating again? All of his past relationships have started out as friendships first, and mine haven’t. I just don’t know where to begin. Please help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 1:11pm
in my opinion this can be almost impossible. Ive tried it once, and it didnt work. You both have to make sure that you can actually do this....not just talk about it. Can you really have a strictly friendship relationship with this man now? Can he? Are you going to be able to refrain from having sex, or kissing, etc...? It would be very hard. At least at first. Me and my friend Paul were together first, physically, then I decided it would be best if we were just friends for a while. It was very hard at first, and he was getting frusterated. So....we ended up fighting about it, not talking for months, and now we are just friends. We were never able to make it back to the relationship stage. So you both have to decide if this is what you REALLY want. You can have a relationship and still get to know each other. Maybe just take things slower. That could work too. Hope this helps. Let me know what happens.