take things slow
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| Fri, 09-15-2006 - 6:50pm |
i met a guy at a bar last night who turned out to be a friend of a former co-worker. the guy seemed nice and we've texted off and on since last night. well he emailed me to say hi and also mentioned he's definitely interested in me and hopes its mutual. the email wasn't too forward but i got out of a bad relationship about 3 months ago in which i learned the hard way that not everyone can be trusted so i'm hesitant to start anything again although i will eventually have to get over that.
i'd like to hang out with him and get to know him but should i let him know somehow, early on, that i want to take things slow? i also don't want him to be like "forget her then" because he could be pretty cool. another thing is i have a tendency to get myself into relationships that i'm not really that into in the first place and before i know its a full-blown relationship and i get trapped or stuck and waste too long with these guys.

boston9...
Pianoguy feels that the only way anybody (male or female) can get "trapped" or waste their time if he (or she) permits that process to happen?
You can certainly be upfront about your feelings with this man. BUT...you also need to let him know from the beginning that the two of you won't be "jumping into bed together after date #2?" You can tell him that a few of your boyfriends have made you slightly overcautious, BUT...I wouldn't go into "an entire chapter" about why your previous relationships DIDN'T work out!
If he can handle the conditions and still wants to work at 'winning your heart', that's FANTASTIC! If he 'blows you off' because you didn't give him what he wanted, IT'S HIS LOSS AND NOT YOURS!
Pianoguy (who is listening to Steely Dan's "REELIN' IN THE YEARS" as he writes this)