Taking time off

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Taking time off
2
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 12:23pm

It would be nice to get more male feedback/experience on this situation.

I spoke to the guy I'm seeing about hanging out one evening, and he said he'll get back to me later that evening because he has to run an errand first. Before getting off the phone he asked me if I've been to this certain city (ex. Philadelphia). He said he's thinking of planning to go there the next day, but also says to me "but you're going to work on Monday, right." I said yes, and he said there's still next weekend. It seemed like he was going to ask me to come along.

Two hours has passed from the last conversation he and I had, and he calls me and said he'd like to talk. He said we should take a month off from this relationship with no calls and e-mails. To understand why he wants a month off I asked is it that he's looking to date others and if he's talking to other girls. He said no. I will take his words that he's telling the truth. He tells me that he has this new job to deal with and find an apartment. He also said he hasn't had a real good time for the past month, and that maybe it's because where he's living right now. (Please note that I only saw him 1 weekend the past month because he was searching for a job, and since he was out of town most of the weekends hanging out with friends).

He also adds that he can do his own thing and I do my own, and after a month he wants to know what I've been up to for that month of time off. Is this common for guys to ask for a month off from each other, especially with no calls or e-mails?

I'm confused that in the earlier conversation it sounded like he wanted to go out of town with me, then call back and ask for time off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 1:22pm

I would write this guy off; it sounds like he's breaking up with you in a wimpy way. It's not common in a healthy relationship to ask to go for a month with no contact. If he really wanted to be with you, he would include you in his life even during his busy time. He might not see you as much, but he would definitely want to

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 2:20pm
It does sound weird and becoming more common among men. It seems like he doesnt' handle demands or stress well. It sounds like he can date when things are going good, but if life hands him some challenges he caves in and decides to take time off from dating. He doesn't appear to be a good prospect for long term because you cant just take off a month from marriage or being a father because of stress, if you understand my point.