talk? really need advice
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| Wed, 11-23-2005 - 2:57pm |
Do any of you think it is wise to have a talk with my male friend about my feelings now that he is happily falling for this new girl in this life? He has always liked her but could never ask her out because they were co-workers. Now that he has a new job he has asked her out and he's been on a high ever since. It's been almost four weeks.
After speaking to my therapist today, he suggested I call up my friend and meet him to talk and air out my feelings with him. I have been hanging out with my friend since we ended a romantic dating relationship this year. We dated for three months. I was not the girl for him. He had tried to allow his feelings for me to grow but it never happened so he ended the romantic part and we remained friends since. My problem is my inability to open up and one of the reasons why he lost his attraction to me. My therapist thinks this is a good test for me to get rid of some of my inhibitions and not worry about what my friend thinks.
I have always had romantic feeligs for my friend. I have tried my best to move on by dating other guys but my friend always remained in the picture and my feelings for him never went away. In fact, they have grown but I have never allowed him to know this.
Will I lose his friendship after talking to him? He will be the one to decided if he wants to keep our friendship. I can't just let our friendship naturally drift because he has someone new in his life. Should I express these feelings?
Edited 11/23/2005 3:28 pm ET by jens128

Jen,
Your "friend" already told you that you weren't the girl for him and just wanted to be friends with you.
To me, it doesn't sound like you have a friendship. Not really, if you're harboring romantic feelings for him. And it's bad that your friendship with him is affecting your ability to date other guys because you're missing opportunities to find someone with whom you can have a great relationship. You already know a relationship with this guy won't work out.
I think you need to end the friendship for awhile until you are comfortable dating others and you no longer feel romantically towards him. You can tell him that you are happy he is happy in having found someone, but you need to not talk to him for awhile because you realized you still have feelings for him, and it's prevented you from moving on.