talking about the ex
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| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 12:48am |
I have a natural tendancy to include examples when talking about something....usually I'll just say something like 'oh yeah, Beth did that once' or 'my sister who is really good at that.' Every once in a while, it's something my ex did....it's not like I think about him all the time or even at all, it's just that every once in a while, his name will pop out....like if bf and I are talking about jazz, as ex was an exceptional saxophonist.
My question is if this is really bad for me to do, I don't even really notice, except that sometimes, bf seems a little preturbed at the mention of ex's name. Should I try specifically not to mention his name? Does anyone have ideas on remembering not to say it...names as a form of reference just pop out all the time, I wouldn't be able to 'screen' all of which pours from my mouth...lol. Anyway, thanks for the help!
~Dizzy

I think it comes down to the couple and how comfortable and secure you each are in the relationship. I just don't think it's worth my energy worrying about what his relationship with his ex wife (who he still talks to) was like. I wasn't around at the time, so why let it bother me? No point having feelings of jealousy over a situation that's not my concern.
As an aside, he has more female friends than male, I have more male friends than female. His best friend is a girl. At the time I met my guy, I met some other guys on the same dating site. I got invited to two separate occasions by two separate guys and he came along to both of those. All the guys got on great and we're all going to remain friends.
Maybe I'm different, but if two people are secure in themselves, secure in the relationship, understand and don't overstep the boundaries they've set between themselves in a relationship, then talking about exes or friends of the opposite sex shouldn't be a problem.
Like I said though, that's just me and what suits me may not suit the next person.
JMHO
Eve