talking about house buying during a developing relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
talking about house buying during a developing relationship
3
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 6:39pm

Dear Dating Experts, I have been dating this guy for half a year and I really like him. He really likes me, too, and has said he loves me. I think it's vey likely we are going to be together. Even though we haven't voiced our commitment to each other, I feel it's very likely. I've always wanted to buy a home and now I want to take action. Plus I am going to buy a home anyway regardless of whether it works out not. Will it be a problem for the relationship if I start looking? Can I tell him that I want to look for a home, and if we end up together we can share it, but if it doesn't work out, I will just live in it myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001

I think you should buy a home if you want. I also think mentioning it to him might be beneficial. See what he says when you tell him that is what you are doing.  But follow thru because if you don't buy it because you are waiting for this relationship, you'll regret your chance.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I would just mention that you are going to start looking to buy a home.  I think at 6 mos. the relationship is really too new to talk about living together (although I'm sure that some people will disagree with me).  But you need to take care of yourself and buying a home is a responsible thing to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013

Sure, mention you're looking to buy a house, but do not say anything else unless he asks. I don't recommend living together for 2 years.  It takes a while past the honeymoon period to see how a guy will treat you long term, and it also gives time for any skeletons to come out of the  closet, if there are any. The pro's are that the prices are great in the housing market right now, but the prices have been gradually increasing. The cons are that if you do last long term with the guy and he doesn't like the house and you want to live together, then you're stuck in a  house he doesn't like. You also can't expect him to pay for the half the mortgage since he's not on the title, so coming up with a fair amount for expenses can be tough. Good luck.