to tell or not to tell??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
to tell or not to tell??
8
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 10:23am
I have a crush on a coworker at the restaurant I work at a few nights a week. We flirt like crazy, we have made out a few times and I can tell that he is "into me" but not sure how much he is? I have had coworkers tell me how shy he is, etc. Do you think I should ask him if he wants to do something one night this week if he is free? Or just let it go and just go with the fun flirty stuff and not take it so seriously, but I am falling for him and I don't like being vulnerable but I will never know how he really feels? I'm at a loss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 12:37pm
Yes you can definately ask him out for a date. You've seen the signs that he is interested and you've already kissed. And if he's too shy to ask you on a date, you've solved the initiation problem. I think the only way you'll find out how is feels, is to ask him on a date.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 1:21pm
That's what I thought. That would definitely give me my answer, positive or not.
Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 7:48pm
If it's just a fling type thing fine...but I wouldn't consider seriously dating him unless your job is expendible...ie you can find another job easily. Just known too many people who did this, I guess, and were miserable when it didn't work out b/c they couldn't get away from their ex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 8:16am
That's the thing. This is just a part time thing I got to meet new people and take my mind away from my "real" job. So I would rather risk it for a good relationship, but I don't know if he is into me or just looking at the "fling" thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 11:27am
I've been there done that back in my younger days. If all you do is hang out casually and make out, my guess would be that he is either not interested in more or may have a girlfriend (the guy I was in this situation with was both). You can ask him out but if he does say yes, you need to let him pursue you after that. If a guy is interested, he'll ask you out. Even shy guys know the way the game is played - no guy is THAT shy that he'll let a girl he really likes walk away b/c he's to scared to ask her out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 1:00pm
This is a classic no-brainer. Of COURSE you should ask if he wants to do something one night. There's no reason on earth not to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 1:23pm
I actually called him at work last night because I was off but he had already left for the night. I need to get his number, this is stupid. I am getting too old for all of this. I am just sick of liking the wrong ones. Meaning the ones that don't have interest in me back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 1:28pm

you can suggest grabbing coffee, somethnig casual, perhaps to discuss something you know he has expertise in. Guys like to feel they can be helpful and he'll be flattered and then once you're out hopefully he'll feel comfy and it will evolve more into a date without your feeling you've put yourself on the line too much.


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