Tempted by a married man

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Tempted by a married man
5
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 5:29pm
I've recently moved back home after graduating from college and have began to re-associate myself with some old friends. Where I come from, you either go off to college or you stay, get married and start having babies (not that there is anything wrong with that, but that's just how it is). Over the past few days, a guy has been coming around that I'd never met before. He is only a few years older than me (about 25), and oh so handsome -- AND no wedding band. The chemistry between us was amazing and I haven't felt sparks fly like that in quite some time. We spent most of the evening talking, he seemed to be very interested in me and then we went out for drinks. By the end of the night, we were flirting like crazy and he kissed me when he dropped me back at my car. He asked to see me again, and again. And we've been seeing each other for a couple weeks now. Rather quickly, I decided to sleep with him and it was amazing. Now the problem. I had mentioned to a friend that I was seeing a new guy, and told her all about him. To my suprise, he is married, and has been for three years. She assumed all was great with his marriage, since she had not heard anything different from within the circle of friends. I had never in my life imagined that I would ever date or fool around with a man that is married. His wife has been out of town, and will be for a couple more weeks, and I'm not sure what to do. I know what I NEED to do, but how does he think he is going to get away with this? Once a cheater, always a cheater, right? Or will he stop the moment she gets back home? He is very affectionate with me, and its obvious there is more than just a physical attraction and physical relationship, since I did not give it up on the first date, like many of the girls around town. If that's all he wanted, he could have found a girl anywhere. He thinks he got married too young, and now he's missing what it is like to do what he pleases. Part of me agrees with him, while of course, the other does not. If he is cheating on his wife after three years, his marriage looks like it is already going way down hill. I've never heard of a man being unfaithful in such a short period of time, what do ya'll think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 6:46pm
Oh come on you've NEVER heard of anyone cheating so early. MEN CHEAT ON THEIR GIRLFRIENDS AND THEN STILL MARRY THEM.

If you are being honest, these are just excuses you are giving yourself to justify still seeing him after you found out he is married. Most women would be furious to find out that they were lied to initially or led to believe that they were with someone single, but you weren't now you are just trying to come up with reasons why he must really just be wild about you because he's cheating on her.

NOPE!

It doesn't matter WHEN they got married, how young, etc and so forth. Men cheat on their girlfriends and still marry them, men cheat on their wives, women cheat on boyfriends and cheat on wives. Doesn't mean that its somehow okay because there MUST be something wrong in the marriage for him to cheat.

NO!!! The truth of the matter is there is something wrong with HIM. His character, or lack therefore. He is the kind of man that thinks he's justified in hurting someone that he made marriage vows with as long as he has a good enough excuse (i.e. we got married young, she's out of town, blah blah blah) The truth of the matter is, he CHEATS. That's it. Doesn't matter if the marriage was perfect, he'd probably still cheat and as cute as you probably are, I doubt that its your stunning magnetic charm that has drawn you to him, if it wasn't you, it would probably be someone else and its probably not the first time he's cheated.

It's too bad too, not because this guy is REMOTELY a good catch, because he isn't...but that you think for some reason he is and don't at all respect the fact that he took marriage vows to someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 7:18pm
He was looking for a good time and he found it in you. You are being used. Sorry to be so harsh--but that is the fact. You'd better hope his wife never finds out about you, you may find she takes her revenge out on you!! Run, move, you'd better do something FAST.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 8:45pm
klcbama...

Reverse the roles here and put yourself in his wife's place. How would YOU feel if you learned your husband had cheated on you after less than 3 years of marriage?

As far as making babies...it's a lucky thing you aren't making one of HIS! It would be a tough true life experience for your son or daughter!

Drop this turkey...NOW!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 9:10am
Don't do it! I agree 100% with the other posts. As piano guy suggested, reverse the roles... How would you like it done to you? This happened to me, my husband cheated on me after 2 years of marriage. I had no idea we were having problems in fact he never lead me to believe that our marriage was in trouble but he surely told her he was thinking about leaving me. Cheaters will tell those they want to cheat with anything they want to hear to get them to do anything they want to do to them. Think about it, how many cheaters really leave their spouses? He didn't leave me for her, I left him for cheating on me and he pleaded with me to stay saying "she meant nothing to me!" By the way, after I dumped his sorry a-- he never saw her again either. Think before you proceed, as another post stated, run fast, she may take it out on you and believe me, that is a foremost thought of the victim. Hell hath no fury like a woman (or man for that matter) scorned, and... What goes around comes around. All true statements.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 12:18pm
You know the answer to this.
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