Text Messages...And they ain't from me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Text Messages...And they ain't from me!
3
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 7:02pm
I've been with my man for a few months now and I'm so smitten with him! We both absolutely believe that we are it for each other - hooray for us!!!! He's recently divorced and I have respected his wishes to keep a low profile because he has a young son. However, there is a gal from his gym that has done the following in the past year: told him she's in love with him twice, brings him gifts to his new house, gives him wake up calls in the morning (even when he's at my house during the week - he's smart not to answer his phone or it would be Lorena Bobbit time all over again! lol!), she's recently filed for divorce, and she's been sending him a lot of text messages too. They've been friends for a couple of years now (going to the lake with friends from the gym, etc...) but I know his ex-wife wouldn't have tolerated this either. He's told gym girl that he's with me and has also told her that he doesn't see her the same way she sees him. Yet, the scene doesn't seem to change. Does anyone out there think she's "not right in the head"? Methinks, my man is doing something that on some level still "invites" her to contact him and that he hasn't nipped it in the bud like I would appreciate he would do. She's not a deal breaker for me, but I AM uncomfortable with telling him I want this behavior to completely stop because she's his "friend." However, I'm having a hard time waiting for her to get the picture.....and it's driving me nuts! Anyone care to dish any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 9:45pm
Well he's of course "inviting" the behavior. He hasn't told her to stop text messaging or calling him right? He likes the attention and the ego boost from it all. If they are truly just friends then you have nothing to worry about, but she's going to do whatever he allows her too....so your "beef" should really be with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 10:18pm

I agree with the previous poster... if he truly wanted her to stop contacting him, he would have told her to stop.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sat, 08-21-2004 - 8:48pm
The situation could be "invited" by your new beau. However, she could just be crazy and obsessed with him and he may not know how to get rid of her in fear of pushing her over the edge. I know of a situation where a girl was crazy for this guy and she would not leave him alone. He asked her to stop calling and stuff but she didn't (but he was also screwing her). He blew her off and did other things to move away from it. Even if he didn't have sex with her from time to time, I still think she would have been stalking him. It ended with her pressing false rape charges against him. Usually a person who is cray and obsessed will not take no for an answer. Yes the gym girl is his friend, but she is interfering in your relationship with him. I would talk to him and tell him you are not comfortable with the situation and would like the calls to stop. Tell him how you feel or else you will be very unhappy in this relationship.