is texting equal to calling??
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is texting equal to calling??
| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 10:58pm |
so a quick summary on this guy...we met this winter, went on a few good dates and per him, he fizzled out cause i said it wasnt really a good time for me to be in a relationship, which makes sense. so the timing was off. early july he contacted me via text, unexpectedly, for the first time since we dated this winter. we have since gone on 2-3 more dates, all which have gone well. the weird thing is, is that he hasnt called me, only texting! i mean some days he will text me throughout the entire day which in some ways is nicer than a call every few days but on the other hand what is up with this? should i just try to call him? is texting just as acceptable these days??

I must confess, I've fallen
All in all, I'm not a big fan of texting. That said, it can be ok when ... like Stacey said, you're texting to confirm plans (ie, anything that requires a "yes" or "no" quick answer) ... or if you just want to say "hey, hope you're having a great day!" or some other little sentiment.
But, and here's the big BUT ... it should not be used in lieu of actual communication! Can you really get to know someone via text messaging? Me thinks not. Can you have a conversation via text? Uh, I guess so ... but how lazy and cryptic is that? And most certainly you can't have a *meaningful* conversation, right?
I think you're at a disadvantage with Mr. Text Message, in terms of truly getting to know each other (outside of when you see each other, which has been 2 -3 dates?). Though its well, kinda nice, that he texts you throughout the day ... how much insight about him does that really give you? Do you know him better as a result of his texting? Do you feel like he's getting to know you better?
Overall, I think that texting is just plain 'ol lazy. So, no ... I don't think it's just as acceptable as calling. At least, it shouldn't be ... nor would it be for me. Whether or not you allow it to be acceptable, that's up to you. If I were dating Mr. Text Message, I'd kindly ask him to give me a call ... or I'd call him and let him know my preferences on verbal communication. :)
I hate talking on the phone because that's what ido all day with my job.
When you're texting you can also be doing other stuff as well. But that's just me and my personal preference.
Anyhow, it is possible that he hasnt mentioned some sort of money saving strategy to you where he texts instead of calling. Does he call during off peak hours ( in the evening)?
Perhaps, to him, texting is a way of staying in touch, without having to directly talk to you. It's just less...confrontational, if you know what I mean. Perhaps he just wants to keep it low-profile right now. In a way it is paradoxical, because texting signifies we feel quite close/comfortable with the person, but at the same time, it's not really real. It's still distant.
And certainly, texting is WAY better than no texting?! *smile*
Let him know you'd love to talk to him on the phone, or let him know he can call you. Keep it open, without pressuring him. I think he just wants to go slow.
I have to agree with you on the aggressiveness of the young ladies these days. I'm a member of an expensive health club that is filled with educated 20-somethings. You can read all the books you want about the man pursuing the woman, but these ladies are ignoring the rules with some serious payoffs.
The men at this club are mainly in the tech fields: young, well-paid and good looking. I work out on a treadmill that is raised so I can watch everything that goes on. The ladies will stop at nothing to start a conversation with a good-looking man. It doesn't matter if he is lifting weights, talking to his buddy or reading a book. The young ladies get up front and get the man's attention whether they know him or not.
And it works. I have yet to see a man tell a woman he is busy. The guys will stop what they are doing and have a conversation. The ladies ask them out and the men readily take them up on their offers. If a woman is rejected she just moves on to the next guy. The whole situation has been a big eye-opener for me. These ladies are going to be wearing the pants in their families.
I'm not a fan of text messages, but if it works for you go for it.