Is a Thank You note appropriate?
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Is a Thank You note appropriate?
| Sat, 10-30-2004 - 8:33am |
I recently had a "first date" with a guy who is very shy. We had a wonderful dinner then went to a comedy club. By the time we got home it was 2:30 in the morning. Both of us had worked all day and were exhausted. He tried so hard not to fall asleep in the car on the way home (I drove). When I dropped him off he said good night, said he had a good time and enjoyed himself, hesitated, then got out of the car.
That was a week ago. He hasn't called since. He is a farmer and this is harvest season. With the wacky weather I know he is probably spending 10-15 hours a day in the fields and is exhausted by the time he is done.
I would like to go out with him again. However, I don't know if he wants to and is too tired at the moment, or if he's just not interested. I thought I would send him a Thank You note telling him I had a good time and would like to do it again sometime. What do you think?

I think that if he were really interested, he'd at least make a quick call or send an email to let you know that, despite his schedule. If you send the email and he does follow up, you'll never know if he's doing it because he's REALLY interested, or he's only somewhat interested and is just being polite.
Sheri
Consider this - for you to earn your entire yearly income you had to work 12 to 16 hours per day for 30 straight days, where would be your focus? How willing and interested would you be in social conversation and activities? How much would you prioritize another person with whom you've had just 1 date?
If he is interested in you he will connect with you after this critical task is complete.
The Stephen R. Covey quote of "Seek first to understand, then to be understood" applies here.
Rather than leaving her wondering about his interest level, he took 10 minutes to go through his calendar with her and explain to her what his schedule was like, and made a date for when his schedule cleared.
I think that a truly interested man would do the same thing here...explain to her that he really wanted to see her again, but that he simply wouldn't be available until after the harvest and that he would like to see her on X date.
Sheri
Would you share your busy schedule and calendar with a man after the very first date?
Yes, if I really liked the guy and wanted to make sure he knew I reciprocated his interest, you bet I would walk him through my calendar and let him know why I couldn't get together for a 2nd date until two weeks from now (or whatever)!!
Sheri