Thanksgiving-am I invited to his house?
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| Sat, 11-25-2006 - 1:48pm |
I have been dating this guy for 20 month and only met his parents once and have no clues about how his parents feel about me. I have never met his friends either except once I accidentally bumped into this girl at a grocery store with my boyfriend and she was borderline rude and hostile to me. anyway.
I know my boyfriend is going home for Thanksgiving this weekend. I was kind of hoping that he would invite me to go with him since I am all along here and have no family or relatives in this county. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to expect that giving the fact we have been seriously dating for almost two years now.
Although things aren’t going at my best between me and him right now, I told myself if he ever asked and invited me to go with him, I might decline depends on how mush he insists. I wanted him at least ask about what I will be doing if he isn’t going to invite me to his house. However, he never said anything until I asked him on the Thanksgiving eve morning. He told me he is going home and mentioned nothing about me or what I would be doing for this holiday.
I am deeply feeling hurt and in tears. He knows that I am here along and he just took off. I wrote him a not so nice email to let him know how I felt. I told him I wanted a break up because this is not acceptable for me. This past easter sunday he also took off and didn't say anything to me.
He has called many times since to apologize and said he is sorry about this and he is all stressed out about his work and has forgotten about me. I haven't called or talked to him since Wednesday morning.
He is 38 and shooting for 39 in a month. Should I tell him what to do with his girlfriend for holidays like Thanksgiving so his relationship can work? Am I dealing with a looser here and better off to move on?

If you've been dating him seriously for almost two years, it sounds like things aren't right at all. That's much too long for you not to have met any of his friends and for him to not even think about what you're doing for the holidays.
The first thing I'd wonder is if he doesn't think of the relationship as being serious, or if it's possible that he might have someone else he's dating in addition to you and so he has to keep you a secret from everyone else he knows. Whatever the case is, acting like you're a dirty secret is not right for him to do.
He's certainly old enough to know how to treat a person he's dating. His behavior does seem completely wrong and you're totally correct to feel slighted and want to break up with him. He's had two years and it's not likely than anything is suddenly going to change if you stuck around.
Thanks for your time Kelly. I just want to reach out and confirm my feelings with rest of women here.
It's extremely inconsiderate, inbearably rude.
If I were you I'd be moving on too. If you ever wish to get married this guy will never do it. He would grow sick of the idea of an entire room of his friends and family...and you. Definitely time to move on.
A man that age knows perfectly well he should be inviting you to Thanksgiving.