Is there any hope?
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| Fri, 10-01-2004 - 5:11pm |
Well, a week after that, we had a discussion and he said that he wanted to have more kids but he knew that he couldn't with me. So he didn't know what to do because he really liked being with me and doing things with me. It was kinda of a shocker. Well, he ended up giving me an answer a week ago because I made him tell me answer because it was driving me crazy not know what he wanted. I am a bit impatient. His answer was "no" that he could continue the relationship. Yes, it broke my heart and I want more because our times together were so nice.
I really felt that it had to be more than the baby thing. After putting everything together, I also started thinking about the fact that he would keep mentioning his ex-fiance during our conversations. They broke up because she left him to go back with the father of her kids, got pregnant for the third time and he left her again. Now she is single and Tod and her are still good friends. He's been helping her out a lot lately. I think he is still in love with her. I hate the fact that I didn't realize why he mentioned her in our dates. And it was all volunteered from him. I never asked about her. And once he apologized for talking about her, like he felt guilty. I didn't think much of it because I just figured they were good friends. Because that was his reason for the break up that "they were better as friends". I found out about the real reason for the break up from a mutual friend. And also, this mutual friend also thinks that he may still love her.
I feel a little bit used. But I also think that he really did like me I really do, I really felt through him like he wanted to fall for me, but then like now that the ex is available I'm not so sure. I ended up writing him a letter Wednesday about how I felt about him and what I would like for us to be, but I don't think I will call him again. I hope he calls me but then again I think that if he is loves her then it's no point. By the way I wrote the letter before realizing the EX factor. I think I'm just retarded for not figuring it out sooner. I'm a little mad at him though, but I really don't know what to feel. I sooo saw myself with him forever. What should I do?
