is there any point?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
is there any point?
1
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 3:32pm
About 5 months ago, I met this guy (my friend's younger brother) one night. I had met him briefly before but this time we were talking for ages. He's 22 and a student. I'm 26 and I am in full time employment.

Anyway, he told me he had a girlfriend for a year. He said he had told her he didn't want to go out with her anymore a couple of months previously but that she got so upset that he agreed to stay with her.

As she lives in the city where he's at college and I live far away from there, I've never met her. Even his family have only met her once.

We are both from the same town and both spend our weekends in that town.

Anyway, that night I was staying at his family home (as his sister's friend) but we got together that night and I slept with him.

I knew I liked him but I wasn't crazy about him at that stage.

About two months later, we met again and were together. He had been caught cheating on his girlfriend and she broke up with him. We exchanged numbers and we met the following day and spent a few hours together just talking, it was really nice. I hadn't laughed so much in ages (I had been through a very rough break-up and had been very down for a year or so afterwards). I still wasn't too sure about him though as I thought he was too young for me. He asked me was I going out that night and I said no, (I was really tired) - he seemed a bit disappointed but we parted on good terms. We texted each other a few times that night and a few times during the week. Ever since then, I text him occasionally (I always instigate it) and he usually responds. His sister told me that he had got back with his girlfriend but now it's all over again. He was away for an extended break and is home at the moment but hasn't made any attempt to meet me. But he still always replies to my messages.

It's just that over the last few weeks I've been thinking about him alot and now I'm crazy about him.

I had asked him to accompany me to a wedding a few weeks back but as he was away, he wouldn't be back in time so he couldn't come. I texted him a few times at the wedding and he always replied saying he was sorry he couldn't come with me. He also told his sister that he was sorry he couldn't come to it.

Basically, what I'm trying to work out is:

Do you think he's just enjoying being single at the moment and doesn't want to get involved or is he just not interested in me? Or maybe once a cheater, always a cheater?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 12:04am
yes, yes, yes and yes. I think he's just enjoying being single at the moment. I think he doesn't want to get involved. I think he isn't interested in you. And I do believe that there are repeatable patterns to our relationships so yes, once a cheater, always a cheater. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. You had a one night stand and that was it. Pay attention to what he's doing in regards to you: nothing. If you weren't contacting him, he wouldn't be in your life at all.