Is there a cure??
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| Tue, 11-14-2006 - 7:29pm |
I would first and foremost like to point out, that in general I'm a pretty rational, sane person. But after many hours of trying to get in tune with myself and get an answer to my question, I still don't see a solution. Not even a talk with my mother seemed to help, and generally she's very helpful.
My problem is this; Young as I may be (21), I can't seem to find a serious boyfriend. I have to say I haven't ALWAYS tried to put myself on the market, in fact throughout school I didn't date simply because I thought the boys silly and rather dumb. But after that, once I reached college, I figured I would be able to find a guy. I still can't. And for once it isn't for lack of trying. I DO try now, and I WILL be genuinely attracted to the person. But then within a ten minutes I'm not attracted to him any more (physically. I can't bring my self to think of kissing them or being physically responsive to them).
Its really starting to worry me, as I DO want a relationship, I AM interested in men, but can't seem to get myself attracted to them for any longer than a short amount of time. And most of the time, they don't even do any thing wrong! If any one has any suggestions or clues into this, or how I can break myself of this habit, please tell me, as I want to move on with my life. Thank you!

It's so weird that you post this because I went through a similar phase in college as well!!! And to be honest, I'm not sure what caused it. Thinking back, I wonder if it was that I was trying to find a fit, wasn't sure of what I wanted, etc. What I would say is to stop looking for a guy and just realize this is a phase. It will pass. If it doesn't pass in a year, then worry. Mine took a few months to work through if I remember correctly...
There's no magic cure, but hopefully this will help a bit.
keeri120...
Pianoguy is going to ask you what will probably appear to be A STUPID QUESTION...but here goes:
"Do you look at every man as a serious boyfriend...or a potential lifetime partner?"
If this is your approach then you're probably gonna continue TO FAIL or at the very least, BE MORE THAN A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED?
At 21...the entire world is open to you. I'm referencing everything from career and travel to marriage and family. So it might be a little too early for you to 'jump into or accept a serious relationship?" Look at the number of women who have visited this and other L&S boards! Many have made hasty choices that ended up turning SOUR!
Friendships can often lead to something MORE. But why do you feel it's necessary to plan the rest of your life at the 'ripe old age of 21?'
Pianoguy