Is there a dating rule: Sex on date 3?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Is there a dating rule: Sex on date 3?
11
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 12:57pm

I was in a 5-6 year relationship before my last one of 6 months.. I'm a guy, 34, and I hear that now people generally expect to be having sex on date three! True or false? Besides the 'there are always exceptions' is this phenomenon really ocurring? If I date a younger girl (say younger than 30) is SHE going to have a fixed timeline in her head, comparing our dates to it?

Jouster

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 1:14pm
I usually expect guys to expect it by the third date or soon thereafter. But for me at least, it depends on how quickly we get to know each other, how much chemistry there is, how physically attracted I am to the guy and how eager the guy is to take it to the bedroom. Some guys are gentlemen and take longer and that's the kinds of guys I prefer but I'm not at all surprised when men want it early on because I've experienced it enough. The guys who want to wait longer I notice are usually looking for a relationship and not just sex with whomever they are dating at that particular time. If you kiss a woman by the third date and make her feel desired in that way among other ways, then I think she will not expect you to hop into bed with her. In fact, I think she'll desire you more for showing more self-restraint. But then again, everyone's different. Some women do want sex early on and you have to take it on a person by person basis. Hope this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 1:46pm
I do internet dating and most guys (if they don't cancel the date or stand me up) want first date sex. Of course they don't say that this is all they want and you'll be history afterwards but I've always been dumped after sex. I think that when men get what they want they just take off to put more notches on their bedposts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 1:51pm
Some people refrain from sex until they are married, some like it on the first date, and then there is everything in between. It is up to the individuals involved.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 2:20pm

Don't believe everything that you hear ;-)! While there are definitely some people out there who have this expectation, it's far from a general "rule". And if some woman is measuring you against that expectation, is that someone you'd really want to date???

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 3:13pm
I personally wait till its right usally were talking a few months to get to know someone
I realize my realtionships last longer that way
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 11:27pm

I have heard this too but I'm sure it's just a myth. Everyone's different, and people who really have a personality and confidence won't listen to these so-called rules some fictional person made up. I will definitely not be having sex with the man I'm dating on our THIRD date. I mean, I actually want to get to know him before getting that intimate. If I really like someone, I'll try to hold off on sex for a while to make sure that he wants me for more than just a shag, kwim? Btw, I'm 22.

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 2:10pm
thanks! want to go on a date? ; )
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 2:26pm
Why should younger women get respect and older women just be seen as f--king material?? I am MUCH older than a twenty-ish girl and SICK AND TIRED of bastards who want to rape me on the first date and whom I have to physically fight off. I would jump at the chance to date someone who could show a bit of respect and not get his d--ck out on date 1:(
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 2:42pm

Actually, I interpreted the 'sex on the third date rule' as being a rule speeding up the race to have sex. Not in slowing it down from sex on the first date.

And I only once had sex on a first date and that turned out to be a largely sexless 5 year relationship!! (she had vestibulitis or something)...

Maybe I am wrong, but I dont really ever expect to be having sex on the first date at all! If we both do feel very attracted to each other, my expectation would be at most 'heavy petting' but really, I dont think I would feel comfortable afterward if it went farther than that.....she'd have to be a really sweet girl that stayed with me for a while after that until I began to feel assured that it was an okay thing to do..

Jouster

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 2:45pm
Yes, I understand what you meant, Jouster:) You seem to be a nice old-fashioned guy and good for you:) Obviously I'm living on the wrong continent:(

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