Is there really someone for everyone??
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| Wed, 09-21-2005 - 8:38am |
Hi all,
I have kind of a strange question. Does anyone here ever feel like they are never going to meet the right person for them?? I know it sounds silly, but I feel like i'm trying so hard (maybe too hard) and getting NOWHERE. I just feel like i'm 29 now, I see my sisters both married with kids and i'm beginning to feel like the clock is ticking so to speak. I miss having someone to love and I just feel like it isn't going to happen for me. I do all the internet dating stuff, seems like I meet nothing but creeps on there, and I dont have many friends who like to go out to clubs/bars (besides, it's not like you're going to meet the man of your dreams at a club anyway, right?)
Anyway, sorry to ramble on like this, i'm just wondering if there's anyone else out there who feels like this sometimes the way I do or if it's just me...

Hi jacki 83176...
Pianoguy honestly believes there IS "someone for everybody!" But whether you meet him (or her) depends upon your visibility...and what your particular "needs" happen to be!
Unfortunately, you have the mindset that (because your sisters already are 'married with children') you are inadequate marriage material? While comparing your life with theirs ISN'T A VERY GOOD IDEA...at 29, you certainly have more time to find Mr. Right!
Perhaps the problem is "where you're looking?"
Internet dating DOESN'T work for everybody (PG knows this firsthand)....and if you're not comfortable hanging out at a bar or club (in order to attract someone)...DON'T!
Take a fun or an enrichment course at a college, do some volunteer work for a charity, attend a religious service on Sundays, or connect with people who have hobbies or interests similar to yours. You'll DEFINITELY meet others by being 'visible!'
BUT....approach any new person as A FRIEND without assuming that he's going to suddenly become MR. RIGHT! The last thing you want to do is take up with a "Dr. Jekyll" who will turn into MR. HYDE when you least expect him to?
Good Luck!
Pianoguy
i do.
although i've met someone great now, i still don't know if he's "the one" or if marriage is even an option for my future.
guess time will tell.
Hi Jacki,
I definitely went through the same feelings of discouragement and doubt that you are experiencing now.
Start
It's definitely not just you. It's natural to feel discouraged and worried. But ultimately all you need is one person so keep making efforts to meet someone, have as positive attitude as possible that the right guy is out there and hopefully it will be sooner vs. later that he comes into your life.
Sherry
Chamey,
Respectfully disagree here... Not only am I a CL of our online dating board here, I can testify to a few relationships that are still going strong, even resulting in marriage where they met online.
Hi Jacki,
And welcome! Yes, you are not alone. I too wonder if there is someone for me and even better, if I will meet him! LOL. It's hard to look around and see everyong involved but I think it's a matter of faith... Have faith it will happen. As PianoGuy said, keeps yourself out there. Online dating is great and if you want to have a support group for it, we have one here. Getting involved in clubs and activities is also great.
I think one of the keys is enlarging your group of people so this way you have a better opportunity to meet someone. Also, tell your friends that you are looking and if they have someone they think would be good for you, to set it up.
Hope this helps. And hope to see you on the online dating board!
Yes, there are many people who feel like you do. I have 5 friends and myself who are just like you. We are all single, sucessful and attractive, but yet none of us has managed to get married except for one of us. We are all in our late twenties as well.
I hate it as well but you just have to trust in the Universe, God and Fate that someone is out there waiting for you as well. I always think my future husband (soulmate) is out there somewhere as well thinking the same thing and I know when the time is right we will meet! You have to have that hope!
everyone has given such great advise and thoughts.
i also do believe that there is someone for everyone. but, i don't believe that one relationship to be magic, when everything starts clicking from A-Z. if we have that unrealistic ideal, we will end up rejecting everyone and then we might feel there is no one for us. i believe every relationship has its issues and challanges, and success depends as much on our ability to be a good person to them, to care for the relationship and be patient, as it does on a good basic attraction, compatibility and "getting along" factor. and sometimes, attrcation takes time to develop. so if u meet a person, and still feel neutral about him, don't give up on him just yet!
find ways to meet new people, and u will see the horizons broadening. i really have found that joining an interest group helps. make a list of your hobbies and interests or things you want to try, and look for local associations that meet regularly. also, being friendly helps. that way, u end up striking a conversation with more people even as you go along your day to day life. i know a couple who are dating, who met in a grocery store! they were at the checkout counter, when she casually commented on something he was buying! :-) and they had actually noticed each other in the store as well b4 they ended up being in same check out line. and then when they got out, he asked her if she'd like to have coffee with him! pretty interesting.
i have had a tedious, but overall, a good experience with online dating. met a couple of decent people. met my current boyfriend through that. but one needs tonz of patience with this medium. u do have to be careful for your safety too because there Are all kinds of people out there. if possible, try not to prolong meeting the person though. it's possible to spend weeks and months online and on the phone, and finally meeting, and things not clicking after that. one almost feels like they are meeting a whole new person when meeting face to face.
in my heart, i do know, that if my current relationship doesn't work out, i will still be fine, and busy with my life, and would be trying to learn and enjoy a ton of things. it's hard to always be upbeat and everyone has down days, but having a positive attitude keeps one steady. it also makes me value life as much more than a romantic relationship.
goodluck! and try not to get disheartened.
u r definitely not alone...