thought i found my soulmate

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
thought i found my soulmate
2
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 1:25am
I believe whole heartedly in the concept of a soulmate. I thought i found mine this past year. He and i had this horrible and complicated on again off again long distance relationship which developed out of a summer romance. THings have never been easy between us but when we are together the whole world jsut seems right. When he kisses me my knees go limp. He told me he loved me first and I said it back but now he doesn't wnat to be with me because he doesn't feel that he is good enough for me. He is at a bad point in his life and doesn't want me to be around him because of it. He had been telling me to just wait till he got things straightened out, but a few weeks ago he told me to jsut forget him. But just a few months ago he was telling me how much he loved me and begging me not to walk away from him. Now that is exactly what he is begging me to do. I am so confused. I don't understand how guys can do that. HOw can he love me as much as i know he does, and still push me away? I know that everyone has told me just to move on, but I love him, and if he is "the one" how can i jsut walk away?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 1:57pm
i was reading your post and remembering myself just a year ago. my heart goes out to youi know so well how much you are hurting.. it's easy to tell you to move on but i know how it is in reality - until you accept it's over, you won't be receptive to any kind of advice

last may my "crazy in love" LDR boy-friend, my soulmate, my best friend told me the exact same things your bf has told you "he's not good enough", "difficult times", out of the blue! i gave him space but when he came back things changed, he changed. i hang around for several months hoping that we could restore the amazing connection we had. i was blindly in love, wanted it to work out. but it didn't. i broke up with him and for several months after that he was trying to keep me in his life. last time i heard from him was this april. now he is in happy relationship with another girl..sometimes i wonder how quickly he moved on, for someone so much in love, someone who was so mad about me.. but this is life and all i can do is to accept it

your guy made his decision to move on with his life, just like my x did. listen to him, accept that even perfect love goes wrong and the soulmate is someone who chooses to stay with you, in the bad and good times.

you know, it's funny. i truly believed that my x was my soulmate. up until last week when i met a great guy with whom (amazingly!) i felt much better than with my x. so, i guess, perfection doesn't have limits :)

trust me, it's best for you to accept that the relationship is over and to slowly start to move on with your life. i spent 6 months crying my eyes out for my guy and now when i look back, i truly think it wasn't worth it. yes, i'm sorry that our amazing love story is over. but it doesn't mean that i won't have something better in future!

leave him, take good care of yourself, reconnect with good friends, learn a new skill, enjoy every single day of your life and trust me, love will find you. no matter where you are. sunshine attracts sunshine

my best wishes to you. keep us posted

N

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 3:01pm
when a guy says that he's not good enough for you, what he's saying is that he's done and he doesn't want to be with you anymore. BTDT. People will say all manner of things but the truth when they don't want to date you. It's really confusing and painful when you get mixed messages, but the bottom line is that it's over for him and you need to move on.