Three Month Freak Out Point?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Three Month Freak Out Point?
4
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 6:23pm
I’ve been casually seeing this guy for about three months. He’s great: fun, charming, compliments me often, makes me feel wonderful, etc. And now I’m going through a freak out period. I wonder if we are getting too serious or if we are going to get really serious. Do I want to get serious or do I want to keep it casual? I wonder if I shouldn’t take a step back, that I’m feeling crowded and monopolized.

It’s silly really and I feel like an over-reacting ninny. We see each other maybe once a week with a few phone calls and emails scattered in between.

Any words of wisdom?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 6:29pm
Yeah - how're you going to feel in about 7 days - when you're still having the same amount and type of contact.......it's likely to be "why isn't he movign faster, why doesn't he want more."

A relationship doesn't make you what you're not...you're at the 3 month point where infatuation begins to fade and either genuine respect and admiration for each of you as individuals is going to replace infatuation...or else this will wither on the vine.

Even if you wanted more - unless he did you oculdn't get it. And if you don't want more - you certainly don't have to agree to more.


Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 6:33pm
"Yeah - how're you going to feel in about 7 days - when you're still having the same amount and type of contact.......it's likely to be "why isn't he movign faster, why doesn't he want more." "

Sort of a "darned if I do and darned if I don't" kind of deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-13-2004 - 7:13pm
Look...there's two perspectives about all life situations.

What do they want, need, expect, require, desire - because I want them on their terms, by their standards. This perspective will have you constantly assessing everything they do and say for hidden meaning, to see what it is you want to see - which could be constantly changing as per your feelings.

Or it's what do I want and need, what do I require and expect and are they living up to my expectations (provided they're realistic, of course). And provided you live at all times in all siutations by your values, priorities and boundaries and up to your standards - this perspective allows you to accept them as they are, enjoy them if you share values, and get rid of them without regret if you don't.


Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 8:12am
Well is the tide of this relationship changing?
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