Time 2gether HELP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Time 2gether HELP?
4
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 12:20pm
I having been dating/with someone for about 6 months now. We see each other pretty much only nights because of our schedules. I only go and see him when he asks me to and usually I will stay the night due to the 30 minute drive to his home. My problem is this, some weeks he will ask me to stay 3 or 4 nights out of the week and other times he only asks me 2 times a week. It's almost as if it is a rotating thing. And a lot of times on the weekends he wants to hang out with his friends (and I don't object to it or get pissy about it). Do a lot of guys like to hang out with their guy friend's on the weekends? I know he likes me or else he would not be with me and we talk on the phone at least 3 times a day. I don't know how to act because I got out of a 4 year relationship with someone else in January and am not used to only being with this man once in a while. I mean is it normal for him to want spend a lot of time with me and then also want his own free time? Please give me some advice on this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 11:28pm
Have heart. When I first met my bf, we were like that, but I was the one who had the brakes on. We fell quick and spent 3/nt/wk at his place(and I had the 1/2 hr drive). Sometimes I just wanted space back at my own place. I had the brakes on because I had just come out of a breakup and was being cautious. I loved him to pieces, but the jumping both feet into the relationship was scary. I used the distance as a buffer. Maybe he's feeling the same way? Maybe he has kids on the weekend? I don't know. How much do you know his history? Does he hang out with his friends every wknd? From your note, you wait to be invited. I say, invite yourself. Be assertive that you want to see him on a Saturday for a picnic. What would he say? Be upfront with him that you want to see him and go from there. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 2:18am
Absolutely....Guys need their space away from their girl...its totally normal for a guy to hang with his friends on the weekend. But i dont see why he cant take u with him every once in a while unless its a Guys night out.

Dont get bothered by this. As long as things are good when you two are together, then its going good. Guys need their guy time just like girls need their girl time.

- Alan

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 9:03am
I feel the same as you. I'm in a similar situation, only we're 3hrs apart! We've been together 2 1/2 months, and so far have seen eachother every other weekend. It's worked out well, because it still gives us weekends to do our own thing. This coming weekend we'd normally be spending together, but he's made other plans. It's his birthday next weekend, so his buddies are taking him out. Sounds like a guy's weekend again, so I doubt I'll be invited, and I feel kinda bad, because I wanted to celebrate his birthday with him. On top of that I miss him and it's going to suck to have to wait a whole extra week before seeing him again.

So I know what you mean about guys and their friends. I'm not used to this either!

-Nikki
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2000
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:43am
I don't see anything wrong with him wanting to spend time with his friends....he still is seeing you 2-4 times a week.
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