tired of being single....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
tired of being single....
36
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 5:16pm
and i apparently keep looking for 'love' in the 'wrong places'

any suggestions as to where to meet guys?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 9:37pm
Hi. I hope you don't mind my intrusion but I know just what you mean. I've tried a few dating sites myself including match.com. It does seem like the guys expect quick sex from those things so I barely even get asked to meet. I'm a serious person about looking for someone to seriously date so I think they pick up on that. It is definitely not you or just you experiencing that. I must say though, I have met women who meet men off websites and sleep with them within a day or week, so no wonder. You'll also notice that the same guys are always on those things. Like I was looking into match.com over a year ago and the same men are on the site now. The exact same is true, and more so true, for the other site I tried.

Anyhow, have you considered 8 minute dating. Google it. Maybe they have one in your area. Its worth a shot. Also, the grocery store. I haven't met anyone who I really wanted to date seriously in one but I do meet men at the grocery store. Just out taking walks may also be a way. Try that. Not someplace where men are going to be with girlfriends, but like a park during times when guys are just out jogging or a sporting event or if you live in a safe neighborhood where there are some singles, walk your neighborhood. I haven't tried sporting events but someone suggested I try that too.

Good Luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 2:20am
I meet guys randomly. Unfortunately, it is not often because all my girl-friends are either married or dating someone. I have been single for 8 years and had two relationships during that time. Oh,I have met guys and they've taken my number but never called. It is NOT easy meeting guys and I find myself sitting at home on Friday and Saturday night.

I am trying to be positive about being dateless all the time but it is getting hard and I am getting tired of being single too.

But I guess I keep up the facade of enjoying being single so that my unhappiness doesn't get misinterpeted as desperation.

Sorry I can't offer more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 12:01pm
i know what you mean

i look around...and my roommate has a bf whom she spends a fair amount of time w/. when he comes over they completely ignore me or even lock themselves in her room all night and sometimes until the afternoon. another friend of mine got together w/ a guy who was in our circle of friends and they've been together for 1.5 years and they have such a wonderful relationship it makes me sick sometimes. i find myself thinking - why cant i be that lucky? and another girlfriend of mine has been w/ her bf for 5 years i think now. 2 of my best friends from home are madly in love w/ these guys - one is expecting a baby...i dont get it. i think i'm pretty, i'm very outgoing, witty and all that good stuff. but i dont know i'm sick of telling my friends "so this guy called me".....then like 2 weeks later theres no more guy. it's like a stupid cycle and if this is what it takes for me to find someone worth dating....LORDY!!! i'm getting tired of it

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 11:00pm
Stop Looking and start living! You may not want to here this, but...........If it's meant to be, that you are a couple, wait for him to see your lifestyle and come to you! In the meanwhile, get a hobby, join a racket club, enjoy your life! You may never be a couple and in the mean while you would not have wasted you life looking for love!

Single for over 10yrs and "I don't need a Man to define me!" Renae

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 2:04am
thats good.... for you

i have a very active lifestyle.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:22am
I'm not single, but I was until I was 30. Kissed a bundle of frogs. Anyhoo...I came to realize that my expectations were so high that I was passing over really cool guys because their careers/education/looks weren't up to my high standards. I learned that the construction trades (plumbing, electrical, carpentry) and other blue collar occupations draw large numbers of fairly intelligent men. After all, many of my IT professional friends earn much less than a plumber or electrician. I decided to change my approach to all men and give everybody a chance. I decided I'm more comfortable in sneakers than in high heels and that I needed to find a man who wouldn't blink at my casual style. Luckily, I started doing what I like to do (love those home improvement expos) and bumped into the right guy for me. That was 20 some years ago. Rethink who you really are and be genuine to yourself. When you're finally comfortable with yourself, you'll be at the right place to attract the right person for you.
Sopal
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:46am
I want to remark in regards to dating men on line. I love the internet dating paradigm. I live in a small town and work at a place that is predominantly women. So my dating options are limited. Taking dating to the internet is like taking shopping from a gas station to a mega mall! It is all about how you present yourself...and knowing the right questions to ask...as well as knowing when it is time to bail. Yes you will find men interested in sex. You find them EVERYWHERE. But because you increase your opportunities to meet men, you are going to increase you opportunities with those that are jerks. Again, know what to look for. If they mention sex right away...move on. No matter what line they give you. I met a lawyer that drove 5 hours to take me out. I told him upfront..please not to expect anything if you come that far to take me out to dinner. He told me "If I wanted to get laid, I would have to drive 5 hours to do so". Well that is a total line. He did want sex, and so I guess some men do have to drive 5 hours to get laid. If they swear right away...move on. Have standards and do not deviate from those standards.

A guy like a confident woman who is not needy or clingy. If you present youself as such, you will find the right one. It really is all about timing.

Good Luck

Jodie

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:13am
Just wanted to make a comment to those of you who only seem to meet guys interested in sex on the internet. I have been on match.com several times. I found that the best way to keep those types away is to say something in your profile that will turn those types off. For example, I always say that I believe that good relationships start with a good friendship and I believe in being friends first. Ever since I started putting that in my profile, I haven't attracted a single guy who was just interested in sex. And I get just as many responses as I did before.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:11pm
honey, i hope you read all these b/c mine will help i think.

someone once told me 'it's a numbers game' - you got to meet & greet lots of potentials.

decide how you really want to live & go to those places.

patience. every pot has a lid!

i really was ready when i was 27 but didn't marry till a little after that.

that year was tough b/c i was really ready for my soul mate & to be in love.

it happened!!! just not that year.

my best friend just got married & hadn't had a bf for ages.

but it only takes one. have faith is the key.

Jordan

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:42pm
i do agree with those who are saying things like it is a numbers game, live your life, etc. i know that's hard to actually put into practice. do decide what you want, then stick to your guns - wouldn't you rather be single than be with a jerk or with someone who wasn't really a good match for you?

as for the internet dating - that can be hard becuase you really do have to sort through a (potentially) huge number before you find someone who's what you want. think about how few and far in between your true friends are, then increase that difficulty by an order of magnitude - and that's the difficulty of finding a man to whom you can really be married for the rest of your life. so give match or eharmony or whatever other site a good try - like for a year or more. it hasn't happened for me yet, but i have met a good number of nice guys that way. it's restored my faith that there really are nice single men out there who want to be nice to women. good luck!

jana