tired of the game....
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tired of the game....
| Tue, 01-17-2006 - 4:21pm |
I was dating my boyfriend for 7 months. We're both divorced, w/ children and we were each other's first serious relationship, 2 yrs after our divorces. The relationship was good and a few months into it, he spewed the "L" word. After 7 mths, I freaked and broke up with him. He was shocked & hurt. Two days later, I told him I had been irrational and it was easier for me to run, instead of, deal w/ the concept of "commitment". He decided it was best if we took a break, instead; I was shocked, hurt & devastated. It's been 4 months since our break up and although, there has been no mention of "love" or "getting back together", he has maintained contact. The last 2 mths has entailed weekly forms of communication via email or telephone. What is his motive for maintaining contact with me? All talk has been very general; day-to-day events. His last email, the most monumental, said that he is still reminded of me & our time together & that 7 mths has a left a mark in his life. I don't get it....what's the point of that comment? Why does he keep throwing pebbles and not following through with a decision, a plan...something!! I still love him, but I don't want to get hurt again. I feel like I'm chasing a ghost or worse, waiting for something that's never going to happen. I keep playing the same game -- ya know, the "I can be friends" game, but it's becoming emotionally challenging. I'm tired of this game. Do I severe all ties? Do I ask his intentions? Do I assume he's playing me because he hasn't found anything better?

I agree with Chamey...it sounds like he enjoys having you in his life as a friend but doesn't want it to go any further. That's not inconsistent with his email remembering your time together fondly. I'm not sure why you think he's "playing" you.
If you are not comfortable with being platonic friends, then you need to cut off contact until you get to the point where you are. Why put yourself through the torment? You could let him know that staying in contact with him is too hard right now, so you will contact him when you're ready for friendship, with the caveat that if he changes his mind about getting back together in the meantime, he should contact you.
Alternatively, you can certainly *ask* him if he's interested in getting back together, but be prepared for him to tell you he's not.
Sheri
You broke up with him because he told you he loved you?
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Well, I hope your sister isn't "offended" by the comparison (smile).
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