Too Cautious????
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| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 1:58pm |
I need some feedback on this situation and I truly appreciate it very much. I met a guy on the bus around 2 1/2 weeks ago. He approached me and we talked. After which, we talked on the phone daily sometimes 3-4 times a day. A date was then set for this weekend. We arranged to meet. I got dressed and waited for his call, yet no call came. I was pissed!
He then called the next day, yet I let the call go into voicemail and have been doing so thus far. I felt I made a mistake talking to him too much, leaving myself available all the time. He saw me every nite since we take the bus at the same time.
Now, in addition to not being available, I have altered the routine of catching the bus by taking a later ride. I was out of relationship over 2 years ago and the man I was with did the same thing and then some. At the time I was so in luv until I kept forgiving him to no avail, he left me.
I made a promise to myself to not ever love a man more than me. After much healing I truly put myself first. I figured if a guy pulls a stunt even miniscule as standing a woman up for a date or not giving a courtesy call and I put up with it, he'll do other things.
Right now, I just do not care to talk to him and not even buying into explanations.
Help!

You are right that YOU set the parameters of what behavior you will tolerate, btw. But get the whole story first, and if he gives you some lame excuse - which he probably will - then tell him that you think he was rude and you are not interested in seeing him again. Don't punish him for what your ex did by not even giving him a chance to explain.
Btw, are you seriously going to work late just so you don't have to see him? That could be putting your job in jeopardy. I'd be careful with that. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk with him and get it out in the open, and keep taking your regular bus?
I think that you put up with a lot of crap from your ex. You never confronted him about it, just tolerated it, and you are angry about it. So now this guy who you barely know doesn't call, and you don't even ask what happened when he calls, you just ignore his call. I think that it would be healthy for you to pick up when he calls and confront him. Ask what happened. What harm is there in that? Rather than just assuming that he stood you up b/c he's a jerk.
Btw, I think you have learned a valuable lesson about not being too available . . . good luck! :)
I just rather not talk to him now because I just too angry to do so. His behavior only triggered something in me and I do not care to confront him. Maybe I will talk to him later this week, not now.