Too early for dating red flag?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Too early for dating red flag?
1
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 3:47am
I work as a tech writer while going to grad school. I have been hanging out with a guy who is still in college for a month now. No 'home base' sex yet, we're progressing towards it though. He has been to my place twice, the first time he brought the wine while I did dinner. He and I get along fine, lots of laughter and talking. We both agree to start out slow, to take it one day at a time because he is still in school, and I am busy with work and school too. (yes, he's younger.) We meet every Wednesday and Thursday nights. He goes home to his parents house on the weekends because he works for his dad part time in a construction firm on Saturdays. And here the red flags I'm starting to get: 1) he has been two my place twice but he has not shown me his place. He's a student and says he rooms with 3 other guys. He told me the street but not the number. I offered to drop him off one time we met at campus but he said he preferred to walk home. 2) We were talking and kidding when he said, "oh yeah, so i'll quote you. I'll tell people I have a friend who says chocolate has this ingredient..." He referred to me as a friend? He was the one who dropped the 'we're dating' phrase a week ago LOL 3) I said to him, when you're free on a Saturday, maybe we can drive down Monterey Bay. His response was, 'darn it, it would've been perfect a couple of weeks ago when the weather was warmer. But we'll see, I'll check the weather."

He is very affectionate and sweet when we're together and we chat alot especially the last couple of weekends when we're not together. But I'm curious to find out his relationship with his roommates and friends.

My questions are: After a month of hanging out, is it too early to think about these things as red flags? Whether they're warning signs or not, how should I approach him to find out more info?

Thanks in advance.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 11:07am
It's never too soon to find out if he's involved with someone else, and that would be my fear with those red flags! I would surmise that it's probably something along the lines of someone he's dating in his home town, and that his roommates have met her, so you can't be seen around his house.

I'd insist on seeing his place and finding out more about what he does when he's home.

Sheri