too early to end it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
too early to end it?
4
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 8:13pm
hey everyone-
so ive been dating this guy since mid july. we were seeing each other about once a week, sometimes twice. this was partly due to both of us having hectic schedules, he works full time and is in grad school and im a nurse so work weird hours. on top of that his family lives out of state so he goes there about 2 weekends per month. i found that our relationship made very little progress over the past 2.5 to 3 months and realize its hard when u have bisy schedules but feel like not enough effort was being in from his side. i found that when we did see each other we had a lot of fun, but on the other hand he would go away for a weekend so see his family and would hear nothing from him until monday morning on his way home. i sorta felt like his "during the week" only dating partner and an occasional weekend when HE was available. to me if you are truly interested in someone you would want to stay more often and hang out on weekends and be more agressive about making some progress in the relationship. am i jumping to conclusions too soon, or am i on the right page by thinking it would have taken a turn for the better by now? i did breifly voice this to him and nothing changed after that except i think maybe e started communicating even less with me! i am not a very needy person at all and im not sure why nothing has progressed!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 9:18pm
It's possible that the man is dating other women as well, so there is little time for you and your relationship. The fact that he goes away for the weekend to visit his family and doesn't communicate with you until Monday should give you a clue on how interested this man is you and the relationship. If you talked to him and nothing has change, but even less communication on his part, I wouln't waste more time with this guy. Just my 2 cents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 9:32pm
i completely appreciate your feedback. i agree with you completely but sometimes i also feel like i am over-analyzing situations and not giving people a fair chance. or maybe i expect too much too soon. what do you think about continuing to just casually date this guy(event though its sorta driving me crazy!)? or should i assume if nothing has come of it yet, it probably wont?? Im not too good at the whole dating game b/c i am used to long term relationships! i was with one guy from 16-21, then another from 22-24/25 and the past 2 years ive been between completely single and dating here and there, obviuosly not successfully yet! aah! any more thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 11:28pm

If you feel that there is potential with the man, then keep on dating him. Date casually at your own convenience. I, though, suspect that you'd date him just for the sake of dating. His flaws are overpowering his qualities. On the long run you'll be fed up with his lack of communication. Think a few months ahead...do you see yourself dating him still? Will you be fulilled with whatn he has to offer? If not, then move on to a more avalable and willing guy.

One thing that you could do is to date several men at the same time, so on the long run you'll be the choosing them an not all the way around.

Dating is hard these days. Men date several women to then choose the one they like best. Women should do the same. Unfortunatelly, women tend to cling to one man at a time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 10:05pm
Well with his busy schedule it could be that a relationship is not a top priority. But it's been 3 months. In a few weeks I would have an, I'm not ready to get serious now but I do wonder if this has potential to be serious talk, and see where that goes. If he has the same reaction - less contact - well, you have your answer.
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