Too far to travel for sexual fling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Too far to travel for sexual fling?
6
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 6:35pm

Hi everyone - I'm posting on here hoping that someone may be able to offer me advice. God knows, I need it! LOL

My situation is this: I went on a first date with a guy and we got on very well as friends, and still do. Initially, I was hoping for a relationship and so was he. However, we have both decided we don't want a relationship with each other. We have decided to remain as friends (and he has acted like a proper friend towards me). However, there is a strong sexual attraction between us, which is pretty hard to ignore. To cut a long story short, we have decided to meet up again to, er... (how can I put it politely?)... "indulge in a roll in the hay"... You get the picture!

Normally, I am strictly a relationship person and avoid this sort of encounter at all costs. However, he's hot, I fancy the pants off him, and I only have one life!

My question is this: He lives two hours north of me. On our first date, he travelled to my town to see me. So, where would be a good idea to suggest we meet up? He has offered for me to come and stay at his house, where he would cook me dinner, bath together and take a walk in the country - However, is two hours too far to travel for "just a sexual fling"? I thought about suggesting we meet halfway and stay in a hotel together... However, I am wondering whether this is A) Too sordid and seedy, and B) Too expensive since neither of us has alot of money.

He shares a house with another man and his teenage son. He has said they won't mind me staying over - But, I'm wondering if it's an inappropriate thing to do in front of the teenager? (Well, not literally in front of the teenager!! You know what I mean...) A benefit of staying in a hotel is that I remain in control of the situation, but at the same time I don't wanna cheapen the whole situation and make it seedy.

For the record, there is no chance of me getting emotionally attached to him, because there is another man I am interested in for the love side of things (not dating him yet tho).

Anyway, I'd really appreciate some advice on this whole situation! I just don't know what to suggest to him as far as meeting locations go.

Many thanks,

~Cherise

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:08pm

I don't think it's necessarily too far to go...but I wouldn't go to his house due to the lack of privacy factor. I just wouldn't be able to relax knowing there were other people in the house, personally!

Is there some sort of place in between that's more charming than seedy but not too expensive?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:17pm
I wouldnt go to his house not only because of the privacy factor but also like you said you want to remain in control. Is there a bread and breakfast inn or something along those lines where you live, just in case you want to leave sooner or change your mind. You never know what might happen if you travel to his place, like people coming over or being in a uncomfortable situation. I would steer clear of these possible encounters and make it a neutral enviroment for both. Good luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 11:52am

If I knew I didn't run the risk of becoming attached to him emotionally (which is something I have to be very careful of) and if I knew it was someone I didn't want to date, I'd definitely be up for meeting for a "romp."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 5:22pm

I'm with Sheri and the others... take your rUmps to a motel for your rOmp! (smile) Find a moderately priced one somewhere in between your two towns. Something like a Hampton Inn, Quality Inn or Holiday Inn. Personally, I like Hampton Inns for quick (affordable) stays. They are usually very clean and a continental breakfast is often included.

I don't like the idea of going to his house because #1) that seems a bit more intimate than the situation calls for (a one-night-stand), and #2) there are other people in the house, including is a teenager. That would just make me feel very uncomfortable and kinda disreputable.

Good luck, be safe, and hope you have fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 7:12pm

Thanks for your replies, everyone. Yeah it makes sense to keep a fling on neutral territory... Plus, I don't wanna be responsible for setting a bad example for the teenager that lives in his house! (Do as I say, and not do as I do...!) :oP

I suggested the hotel option, halfway between our places, and he agreed with it, plus he suggested dinner and a movie, so it sounds like a nice little rendezvous! :oP

Anyway, keep smiling ;o)

~Cherise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 10:55am
You sound pretty firm that you want to meet in the middle at a hotel - so that's what you should do. Or if you do go to his neck of the woods, maybe stay at a hotel, not his place since that would make you uncomfortable. The idea is to be as comfortable as possible in this kind of situation orwhat's the point?
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