Too Picky?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Too Picky?
9
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 12:44am
I have a lot of trouble meeting guys but it seems like when I actually do meet one, I will be interested at first then lose interest for no apparent reason! This happens over and over. Am I just not meeting the right guys or am I being too picky? Help!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: eagles22
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 11:25am
Can you elaborate more? For instance, do you lose interest when a guys says or does something in particular? Is it due to how he treats you, or what he looks like, how he dresses, his attention towards you? If you can provide more details, then maybe you'll get some good feedback.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
In reply to: eagles22
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 11:53am
I have this same problem. it's not that i loose interest it's that i know what i am looking for.you might just know what you are looking for or wHAT TRAITS you are looking for.have others told you, you are being picky? and are you looking for superficial things like myself :)?

Grownazzwoman out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: eagles22
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 5:35pm
Sometimes I am definitely being picky...but I usually feel that they are legitimate things that you just shouldn't compromise on. But other times, I literally have no idea why I don't like the person! It's almost like once I have them, I don't want them anymore. Thrill of the chase, perhaps? Ugh. This sucks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: eagles22
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 5:37pm
It's almost like once I have them, I lose interest. It can be for no reason at all. I can't think of one negative thing but I just won't like them anymore. It's very frustrating!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: eagles22
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:17pm
Well it sounds like there is fear, commitmentment issues
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: eagles22
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 1:19pm
Well, it seems like it's usually something related to their ambition, career choice, etc. or more specifically their LACK of career choice, ambition, etc. Other times, I literally cannot think of a reason...I just stop having feelings for them. I've never been in a long term relationship and I always feel like it's because I haven't met the right guy. I WANT to be in a long relationship, but it seems like I can never find someone I can stand for more than a few months! I feel like I can never meet the kind of guy I want. I don't think I'm too picky (and most of my friends have agreed that the things I site as deal-breakers are usually legitimate... Maybe they are just as screwed up too? ;) I really can't tell if it's me or my choices in men, or both. Any advice is welcome!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: eagles22
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:34am
Yes, more specific feedback would be helpful
,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: eagles22
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 11:02am

Since you said any advice is welcome, I'll pitch in my 2 cents.

This is how things normally go: boy and girl meet, they have general interest in each other, they get to know each other, get intimate..and if things go well up until this point...things are looking good. As time goes on, both parties get a peek at their SO's inner person...their habits, quirks, traits, thoughts, values and...it either goes one way or the other. Meaning you either determine that the person is someone who you wish to be a long term partner or a live-in or spouse. If not, then the two break up due to learning the hopes, dreams, ambitions, deal breakers of the other.

So..the way I see it...you encounter your deal breakers within a 3 month time frame. There is nothing wrong with that, unless your deal breakers are perceived by you to be shallow...like...he put on 5 pounds, or he doesn't wear the "right" type of clothes or watches, or his hair begins to thin...these could be perceived as shallow.

Just because you begin dating someone it doesn't mean that it has to evolve into a long term thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: eagles22
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 9:24pm
I almost NEVER think a woman is too picky. If he was the right guy, you'd know it right away because you wouldn't be able to let him go, get him out of your mind, etc You just haven't met him yet. You deserve the best. I would keep dropping them if they were second rate.