Too SOON????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Too SOON????
5
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 10:47am
I have been dating someone for about 2 months now. We see each other about 2 times a week. Once during the week, and once on the weekends. I am really falling for him, and am trying to keep my emotions in check. But, I don't want to see other people, and I don't want him to either. Is it too soon to ask him? I am so scared that I will push him away.. but the past few weeks, I have been thinking about this non stop, and really want to know where i stand.. ANY ADVICE?? Please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
In reply to: jamybeth
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 1:23pm
Wow, I have been in your place soooo many times. Well, if you really are thinking about this guy all of the time then YES you need to consider more commitment from him. But the most important thing is to not second guess yourself and what you want because then you are not taking your feelings into check. That should be important to you AND important to him. If you want there to be more between you, then you should say it and not hold it in. If on the very off chance that he is commitment-phobic and doesn't want to start something serious, then he's seriously not worth it in the long run.

Also, there are other ways to find out where you stand. You can ask if he thinks about you when you're not around...which I'm sure that he does. It's a natural thing. You can ask the question "where do i stand?" instead of just saying what you want. All of these things are important, but YOU need to value what you want and to not second guess yourself. You're worth it! And he'll see it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
In reply to: jamybeth
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 5:21pm
Two months is more than enough time to talk about where things are going. If you think about it all the time than you obviously want and need more. If he gets scared off by a committment, then let him go. Do you really want to be in an uncommitted relationship? But, honestly I think he is probably feeling the same way. Maybe he's not sure of how you feel or maybe he didn't think you needed a verbal confirmation and already see you as being in a committment. Either way, it is better to know for sure. That anxiety is not good for you, no matter how things turn out you'll feel better to get it off of your chest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
In reply to: jamybeth
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 7:07pm
i'm in the same situation right now. i've only been seeing my guy for about a month, but i want to know what's going on with us. after two months, you definitely have the right to ask. if you want a commitment, then you should ask him if he's seeing other people. if he says no, then you know he feels the same way as you. if he says that he is seeing others, then you need to kick him to the curb. if he gets scared off, then it's better to get rid of him now. you don't want to waste your time with a guy who has commitment issues. after two months, he knows, or should know, if he wants to commit to a relationship with you. you deserve someone who is equally excited about being with you & being in a committed relationship with you as you are with him. good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jamybeth
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 11:06pm
I vote for take him to coffee and talk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: jamybeth
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 12:10am
So glad to know that many other people are in the similar situation with me. I am going out with a guy about one month. We didn't talk about being exclusive yet. But I do think I will talk about it after one or two month later. (It is better to find a way to make him raise the talk. :-))

Ps. Do you think it is too soon to have sex about one month time? If we did have sex in month time, should I stop it & see what his reaction is?