Torn Between 2 Lovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Torn Between 2 Lovers
4
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 2:57am
Before I was going out with my current boyfriend, his best friend and I were dating a little bit. But were never really official. Plus, he was going to collge up in northern California while I was going to college in southern California so that was kind of a problem. But now he goes to school a little closer to me but it's still a 2 hour drive. 2 or 3 weeks later, I got together with my current boyfriend just for fun but later learned to love him dearly. He lives in the same city as I do, we just go to different colleges. But I still have feelings for the other guy. The other guy is always asking my boyfriend if we're still going out and wishes us the best. I don't know how he feels about me. Another thing is that I'm having a hard time trusting my boyfriend. I caught him talking intimately with another girl. Now, when I confronted him with this he said that he didn't do anything with her. He just has to say that so that she would leave him alone because she really likes him. He admits that he messed up and he's doing all he can to gain my trust back. But I'm having a hard time trusting him. I'm really confused right now and I don't know what to do. Help!!


Edited 2/2/2006 3:02 am ET by strawberriesncreme87
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:41pm

I would take a break from your current bf and you can be free to date the other guy and see where it goes. You are still young and you are perfectly justified in dating. You also need to see what else is out there. Your bf doesn't sound trustworthy to me. If you still want to see him, tell him you're taking a break. You need not explain to him about the other guy. If the other guy decides he wants to go exclusive and you want that too, you will need to break if off completely with you current bf.

If your current bf is really trying to get rid of that girl, then he's going about it the wrong way. Talking to her to get her off his back will only encourage her. And that presents a bigger problem, because you will have to deal with her as well. He doesn't seem willing to lose this girl, so something more could be going on.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:29pm

Never mind your boyfriend's friend. That is a side issue.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 3:28pm
well...i caught my boyfriend telling another girl (who he calls "babe") that "he can show her a good time ;)" and he was asking her if he could come to her house to "show her how to have some fun ;)". he told me that he didn't do anything with her, and the reason why he said that was for her to leave him alone because she won't leave him alone unless he plays along with her game, should I say. Also, because she is one his good friend's sister, he's afraid that if he doesn't do what she wants, then she might cause his friendship with his friend to be ruined because of it.
But I like the other guy so much that I'm afraid that if I stay with my boyfriend I might not have a chance to be with the other guy in the future. I want to know how he feels about me but I'm afraid that might push him away if I talk about that kind of stuff.
And I was just wondering, my boyfriend told me that he "freak dances" with other girls at clubs. Should this bother me at all? I mean, it's only dancing...right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 4:10pm
Well in that case I'd dump the bf. Any guy who calls another woman babe and can show her a good time would raise my suspicion. I don't care what the reason is. He needs to have a backbone and do what's right. The other guy may be a really nice bf for you to have, and yes, you may miss your chance if you keep the player hanging around.

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