Torn!! Help..whats right??
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Torn!! Help..whats right??
| Wed, 04-07-2004 - 3:44pm |
Hi all,
If you all remember me, i was in a 2yr relationship with my X, and i was on here constantly asking for advice. I finally let that relationship go, and now i have been dating someone. I am 20 years old, and trying to find out what i want in life, in a partner..etc. I have been switching majors, and basically trying to find whats best for me. This new guy im dating is real sweet, and he knows all about value, respect, and hardwork. He is 23, but grew up very quickly. He is from Cuba and when he was 12, his father and him escaped on a raft to come to USA, they got picked up by the coast guard and spent 8 months in a prision camp. Finally they got permission to come to the USA, and once they arrived his father and him got seperated. (his father was an alcoholic). He spent the next 3 years in foster homes, and finally at the age of 15 he stayed with one family. He's had to do everything on his own, he has no help with money..etc. For what he's gone through, he is pretty responsible. Has a new truck, pays all his bills..etc. But he basically lives paycheck to paycheck. Now here is the issue: My parents, like any parents, want their baby daughter to have security in life. They want me to be with someone who can take care of me, who can support the family. This guy im dating works in construction as a foreman, but is not going to school. My parents believe that we will be struggling all our life because he will never have a college degree. Whereas i will. My father's other point, is if we were to ever get married, family can help out alot. But since he doesnt have one, my parents will be the only ones to help us get on our feet. I know what my parents are saying, cause its true. If i am going to be attending USC or UCLA, they dont want me with someone working in construction and no college degree. But i see the other aspect- If he treats me right, is that more important? What do you all think? Should i keep the relationship up?
THANKS.
If you all remember me, i was in a 2yr relationship with my X, and i was on here constantly asking for advice. I finally let that relationship go, and now i have been dating someone. I am 20 years old, and trying to find out what i want in life, in a partner..etc. I have been switching majors, and basically trying to find whats best for me. This new guy im dating is real sweet, and he knows all about value, respect, and hardwork. He is 23, but grew up very quickly. He is from Cuba and when he was 12, his father and him escaped on a raft to come to USA, they got picked up by the coast guard and spent 8 months in a prision camp. Finally they got permission to come to the USA, and once they arrived his father and him got seperated. (his father was an alcoholic). He spent the next 3 years in foster homes, and finally at the age of 15 he stayed with one family. He's had to do everything on his own, he has no help with money..etc. For what he's gone through, he is pretty responsible. Has a new truck, pays all his bills..etc. But he basically lives paycheck to paycheck. Now here is the issue: My parents, like any parents, want their baby daughter to have security in life. They want me to be with someone who can take care of me, who can support the family. This guy im dating works in construction as a foreman, but is not going to school. My parents believe that we will be struggling all our life because he will never have a college degree. Whereas i will. My father's other point, is if we were to ever get married, family can help out alot. But since he doesnt have one, my parents will be the only ones to help us get on our feet. I know what my parents are saying, cause its true. If i am going to be attending USC or UCLA, they dont want me with someone working in construction and no college degree. But i see the other aspect- If he treats me right, is that more important? What do you all think? Should i keep the relationship up?
THANKS.

The one thing I will say is this: I am a successful 30 yr old and married to a self-employed landscaper. While he is successful as well, money is sometimes tight on his end, which makes him and ME stress. We are able to pay our bills, etc., but I sometimes wish that he had a more stable job to give us both more security. We are considering starting a family later this year and at this point I think he would be that stay at home dad and I would be the homemaker. Now granted I would not trade him in a million years, but you asked and I you might want to hear how it can affects someone down the road. Sometimes when you are young, you don't think how these factors will affect you later in life.