Traveling Solo
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| Wed, 03-03-2004 - 4:57pm |
I've been traveling alot over the last couple years and have been fortunate enough to have the time and money available to me to do this. Most of my travel has been with friends and/or places where friends were and I'd go and get a solo set up but meet up with them at our travel destination.
Now, I'm fortunate enough to have the time, money and frequent flyer miles to take a week long trip to my favorite Island in the Caribbean. I visited the Island solo on Valentines Day weekend and, to my surprise, met some wonderful people who lived there and showed me a great time. They did, however, wonder why I was traveling solo on "lovers day"... (it's a lovely, prestine, french caribbean island). Having said that, I got beyond the language barrier and enjoyed the company of a group that spoke english w/ a french accent and had a wonderful time. An amazingly wonderful time, in fact.
Now I have the opportunity to go back to the Island (in a plan of my own making). I have some friends who would like to join me, however, they are not the best travel companions (ever traveled with someone who wants to control the agenda or is really cheap?). I also have some friends who I'd love to travel with but they are non-committal at this point. So I am faced with this question:
Do I go solo? Here are the things that pop into my mind that I'm struggling with. On the plus side, I can easily entertain myself - sometimes best when least in company. To me, at times - alone is the farthest thing from lonely (bad company is worse than no company). I can enjoy all that the island has to offer and sometimes the best plans are no plans - anything can happen and at any time, you can meet people who add to your life. And let's not discount the value of a good book on a good beach in a comfy lounge chair. Then there are random people who you may not have met unless you were on your own. This is the positive, optimistic outlook.
Having said that, here is the potential down side. Seven days on an island alone could turn out to be difficult. What if dining alone becomes the norm and after a while, it doesn't feel liberating anymore? Even though I know some people on the Island.. will they see me as strange or pathetic to be vacationing alone again (even though I don't feel that way, I'm conscious of how it may be percieved). Also, when your alone - your not laughing and showing your personality by interating with your travel mates... you are basically interacting based on what comes your way (i.e. dining alone vs. dining w/ friends and having conversation and laughing etc. etc).
I have a few days before I need to book this trip. I can set it up in a way that would allow for someone to join me if it turns out my non-committal enjoyable friends decide to commit - and if they don't, I will still be set up to go.
I guess I'm just throwing this out there to see what kind of responses I get. What perception I get based on how I describe my dilemma (not a bad dilemma to go to an island but a dilemma on how to plan). Thoughts? Advice?
Thanks!

If you want to go alone, don't worry about what others are thinking. Enjoy your time with your new friends on the island and make plans with them...
If you want to travel with friends, then just make sure you set expectations up right. Howe about a compromise? For your friends who want to control the agenda, agree to do some things together that they want and then the other half of the time is about what you want... I am planning on traveling with my best friend this summer and we are two very different people. But we talked about our expectations and what we both want to do and see. We've come to a mutual agreement on 90% of the things and the other 10% will be spent with our own time doing things the other can't stand. Maybe this same type of thing would work for you.
As for the cheapees--I wouldn't travel with someone who is so frugal it's painful. I think there needs to be a semi-free hand when traveling and unless they can't afford it, then I wouldn't really want their company. However, again you can work this out by talking it through with them.
If I were you, I would make a list similar to what you did here. See which benefits outweigh the disadvantages for each situation and choose based on that. You know your friends the best and will be able to determine if talking will help.
Hope this helps. No matter which situation you choose, I hope you have fun! Enjoy...
1.) You be upfront with the agenda friend, saying that while you do enjoy sightseeing you do not want to feel tied down with a plan and they you may not be up for all her/his adventures. This way you are putting your friend on notice that you do not want your vacation to be all about plans!
2.) For your frugal friend, this is a little harder to tell her/him upfront, but while on vacation let him/her get either their own check all the time or if you are blunt, speak up when the are trying to be cheap.
By maybe covering your bases ahead of time, your friends will be aware that this vacation is not just about them, it is your fun time in the sun as well.
Whatever you decide, have fun and enjoy your time!