Treading scary water here!
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Treading scary water here!
| Mon, 07-05-2004 - 7:20pm |
Okay--Since it's been 1 1/2 years since my last relationship I am ready to move on. Here is the thing...I have joined an online dating service and have never done anything like this before! Any suggestions, feedback or anyone who has done this and can share experiences with me--I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks

My opinion is to chat and/or exchange a few emails to get to know each other. I usually won't meet someone without an email or two and I want to talk on the phone with them at least once first. My gut instinct about people is good and by talking with them, I generally had a good idea as to whether this was someone I could be interested in or not. And whether I felt safe meeting them.
I suggest meeting someome for coffee or lunch, following common sense safety precautions.
Realize you will likely meet a lot of people whom you will never see again--either by their choice or yours. Don't be afraid to tell someone you aren't interested. I usually tell them the indescripable something that needs to be there for this to continue isn't there for me.
Think of online dating as a bar. You will meet a lot of people but it may take several visits to find someone you like.
Which online dating site are you on?
Good luck!
My word of advise would be to be EXTRA SAFE! If you find someone you are truely interested in perhaps meeting, Do a background check an extensive one.
Just a few months ago I heard about a online relationship that was not what it seemed. The guy was a total fraudulant freak. So just be careful you seem like a nice person.
Only meet for coffee and with a tag a long friend by your side.Good Luck!!!!!
Also, it's very common to think you have chemistry with someone you've talked to by phone and email, only to meet in person and realize that there's nothing there. That's why people who are experienced in online dating recommend meeting after exchanging a few emails and talking on the phone once or twice briefly (i.e., no 2 hour phone calls!). Meet for coffee; that way, it's just 30-45 minutes out of your day and if you don't click, it's no big deal.
Sheri
I had joined lavalife and met this guy who I talked to for a few days, emails back and forth. We exchanged msn messenger addresses and were able to chat more in real time the weekend following our first email. He kept asking me to meet him that week, that I seemed really nice and please meet him. I asked him what the rush was. He said, "well, I've been talking to this other girl for the last few months and she finally agreed to meet me next weekend, but if I meet you first and we hit it off, then I can tell HER OUR GOOD NEWS."
I stopped talking to him after that, too much for me...
But I think just asking him straight out if he's dating other people is a fair way to go. If he's gonna lie, it's gonna be then. Other than that, I guess you have to trust your gut?