Trouble with Girlfirends Family-help!
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Trouble with Girlfirends Family-help!
| Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:14pm |
Well here is my story...My girlfried and I have been going out for 4 months now and everything between us is great! The only problem that I have been having personally is her family. Put it this way, her whole family has a temper. And with everyone having that and having her son (not mine) living with them too isnt a good combination. Her family treats her like trash. 2 brothers (18,21) treat her the worst, calling her names, a terrible mother and sometimes even once in awile punch her( not in in the face but i think yall know what i mean. And her parents dont do anything about it which really makes me mad. I trying to figure out what to do. I want to try and defend her from all this but i dont know what could happen? They could say you cant come over and see her anymore or dont ever come back or who knows if i fight her brothers i could get thrown in jail. And her 3 year old son see's that and thats also killing me. What should I do? Attept to defend her? Talk to her parents? Talk to her brothers? It seems like whatever that i do a big yelling match will happen, I need ehlp on what i should do

Look......realize that she tolerates it, she accepts it, in a sick sense she "welcomes it".
Put it this way...if your entire life was spent having that done and you were told "it's because we love you" - even if she were to get away with it volutnarily on her own - she'd seek it again in someone else later on, once she had no more "combat" to endure.
You can't do anything about it. You can learn from it.
We have people in this society who conduct themselves violently, userously, inappropriately, and aggressively - you already know that. They do it because - they want to, their values justify it, their reasoning demands it. They're not "doing anything wrong".
Taht is why you get into a yelling match...you're trying ot tell them "you're wrong, don't do it"...and they do not belive they are wrong to do it - or else they wouldn't.
Anything that a person thinks is 'wrong to do' - they don't do. Anything that a person does - they don't think is wrong to do.
If you realy want to "do something" intelligent.....first, get to someone that can talk to you about enabling and codependency. You can't go around being a white knight in shining armor rescuing people who don't love, like, protect, respect, admire, and accept themselves.
Second, call child protective services. Keep in mind that those people think it is "right to hit" and whoever will take it - they will hit. That child is included in that, and that child is being raised to believe it is all right to do. Call child protective services, stop dating her, start seeing a counselor....and leave her with the address and number of the closest women's shelter in her area when you go.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com