Trust
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Trust
| Wed, 04-11-2007 - 11:00am |
I recently am ending relationship of 2 months with my boyfriend..we have talked about it and its almost over..I am not sad at all and would like to move on with my life and date others. A guy already asked me to play a sport together for fun after we had a drink a few days ago and it went well. Its wierd he asked me for a drink even though he knew i had a boyfriend. Anyway, when we had a drink, i told him im basically almost single and we got along great. The sport date is this Friday. He then keeps flirting about it, and asking and telling me that he wants to cook me dinner. I am 21 and in college and he lives a little bit off campus in the grad school area. He is a grad student and is 24. He keeps suggesting he cooks me dinner which nice, but I dont really know him yet and don't feel safe going to his house. How do i tell him i dont mind if he takes me to dinner or something else but that i dont really know him yet..how do i say im interested but w o basiclaly telling him i dont trust him. I need to do it in a sly way haha

Question for you: is the dinner date right after the sport date? If so, you will be sweaty and gross so you may not want to eat a special dinner afterwards anyway, maybe more like a quick bite at a local raw bar or burger hangout. So you can approach it like that. Maybe something like, "I would be more up for a quick bite afterwards at a casual raw bar or burger place." The way that this statement is phrased demonstrates that you have a preference and you are not too shy to voice that preference, without being negative. The key here is to not focus on the negative of a dinner cooked at the house (which to me personally, implies sex). In other words, you wouldn't want to say, "I am not comfortable eating dinner at your house so soon in dating you." That is, if you want to continue dating this guy.
I don't blame you for being concerned. Possibly one reason he keeps mentioning cooking dinner because he needs to see if it is one of your "buttons" that can be pushed to elicit an emotional response from you or to see if you understand that it could imply sex. It could be a very nice way of saying "I would like to have sex with you, but I wont' phrase it that way." But one cannot be 100% sure. I find it odd and disconcerting that he keeps repeating it.
Good luck and have fun.
Im not interested in random sex with this guy. Now that you say that, I get the feeling he is into sex. He broke up w his gf a few months ago and he told me when we had a drink he doesnt want something serious..the thing is, neither do I..I wanna take things slow but tings develop and when u meet a person u click with, a relationship naturally just happens. I will have to say something that i would prefer to go out to a public place? I dont wanna tell him i dont trust him but i would rather just rather go out w o mentioning i dont wanna go to his house alone. Whats a way i can mention dinner out and c if hes just interested in sex or me? I am interested in him..it could be fun. I just wanna be safe and show him Im not gonna sleep w him randomly..i wanna be wood and taken out and not sleep with him suddenly.
Edited 4/11/2007 11:34 am ET by tunatartar