Trust Issues are ruining me!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Trust Issues are ruining me!!!
4
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 6:33pm

Hi All,

First off let me say Happy New Year to everyone!!!

I'm not going to take up too much time so I'm going to summarize as much as possible.

I recently was talking to a guy that I go to church with for a couple weeks now. I've know of him for a year or more but he was with his "ex" at the time. Sometime in the middle of october 05 they broke up and she moved out. They were together for 1.5 + and moved in together 8 mos into the relation. I notice, I think sometime in october or november that she wasn't at church and I ask were was she at.

Anyway, finally in the beginning of december we exchanged numbers. that 1st week everything was good. We told each other where we lived and prior to him actually coming over my house he rode by my house 2x's. Yes, he told me that. He was supposed to come over for xmas but he was a no show. but he came over the next day. he was insisting on meeting my family, but I never been over his house or met anyone he knew except for his son. He's a single parent.

Issues: He never invited me over to house and took me out on a date
he has a pre-paid cell phone that he can only make outbound calls to
he always want to come over my house at night

I don't know what to think because when he came over my house he my neices and nephew were there and it was doing the day and last friday he did offer to treat me to lunch before I went out of town.

I was upset about the cell phone issue and not being invited to his house.
I had his ring Friday and he wanted to see me so I told him to come get the ring and I didnt want to talk to him anymore b/c he was so secretive. he looked a little upset when I gave him the ring back and that can of startled me. I was damn this dude really liked me. I should give him a try. I know his situation and he probably was being cautious, but when I got back into town. he never called or returned any of my phone calls.

I know relationships are not perfect b/c there's no perfect people and we have an idea on how we want to get "swept off our feet". I really feel that I messed up. How I acted I don't blame him from not calling me back and I'm not going to call him anymore. That's like beating a dead horse. I just want to get some advice so I want make the same mistake anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2005
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 6:43pm

You didn't do anything "wrong".

Basically, the guy wants a hook up buddy and that's it. You can't change what he wants - with what you want.

Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 7:11pm

I'm confused...he gave you a *ring* when you've only been dating for a month or so? What kind of ring?

It doesn't sound like she's actually moved out, is my guess. Something is fishy, especially with him not showing up on Christmas. He may well have "liked" you, but it doesn't sound like he was completely single.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 9:58am

She have moved out because I got the home phone # and he has an answer machine opposed to a voice mail. Plus caller ID so she would have eventually saw my number when the times that I called. We ALL got to the same church and they don't seat together anymore. I know - to close for comfort. Again, you can't help who you like. Also, like I mentioned in my last post, we ALL have fantasized about how we want to get "swept" off our feet but sometimes it don't happen like that.

I do really feels that he likes/liked me and I don't think he was thinking off me as a "hook up" buddy because it took us 2 months to exchange numbers. If that's all he wanted he would have pushed up sooner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:01am
LOL! LOL! Sorry for the confusion. It wasn't an engagement ring. It was a ring that had his name on it and liked and took off of his finger.
I think he liked me, but I guess it was bad timing.