trusting friendship or baiting me?
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trusting friendship or baiting me?
| Wed, 10-26-2005 - 7:44pm |
When I moved to town, people said I should ask this guy about the music scene and who to take bass guitar lessons from. So I did and he offered to teach me even though he said he doesn't know much about it as he plays lead. We meet weekly in his office at work and things get "interesting" each time. Last week he told me he was worried about me being alone and sad since I moved. He told me we are friends and I can tell him anything. He gave me his number and email and we email frequently. His messages have now begun to include his sexual fantasies - many of them "kinky". He'll send one with some fantasy placed in the middle of "idle" chat. Then his next message will be ordinary. Last week he held my hand up to his to see the size difference, then held out his other hand and I put mine there too. He asked if I was embarassed by him and I said a little. He felt I was cold, and took my forearm and placed it over his, using his other hand to softly stroke my arm. Later as we were talking about our stiff muscles in the neck, he leaned forward and lightly put his hands underneath my hair on my neck. I had told him 2 weeks earlier that I liked to be touched there.
He has been telling me thru email of his fantasies of being dominated by a woman. My question is - why is he telling me all of this? Does he feel like I'm not judging him since I haven't run away yet so he feels like he can talk to me about stuff? Is he testing the waters to see if I will make a move on him? He has said he fantasizes about me. Is he just playing with my mind because it gets him off?
He has been telling me thru email of his fantasies of being dominated by a woman. My question is - why is he telling me all of this? Does he feel like I'm not judging him since I haven't run away yet so he feels like he can talk to me about stuff? Is he testing the waters to see if I will make a move on him? He has said he fantasizes about me. Is he just playing with my mind because it gets him off?

No need to be embarrassed luv, we all need sex. ;o)
Now the bigger issue is whether or not you can stay detached. I hear where you're going and there is nothing wrong with a purely sexual relationship so long as boundaries are determined and agreed upon by both. If you fear you will fall for him, then tread very lightly because that will hurt.
I would take some time to think this out and really think about if you are the type that can keep your emotions out of it. It really only works with someone who you could not see yourself with...
Hope that makes sense. Let us know what you decide.
He didn't answer this email.
He came in today at the normal time we chat and we made some small talk. Then he mentioned that he convinced his wife to come to the party. Then after a bit he asked about the previous email he'd sent, if I had read it again when I got home and told me to look up the Hunter Thomas guy. He then said he thought about cc'ing me on a similar email he'd sent to one of his friends, but didn't know if I would want to hear all of that stuff. He then posed against the door and stared directly at me - I tried to stare back and not back down.
So I'm thinking the bringing the wife thing is a subtle message saying I don't really want to act out my fantasies with you, I just enjoy typing them down and I send them to everyone.
But then again, he mentioned earlier that his wife has a thing for her best friend and they were going to do a 3 way but they got too drunk and it didn't happen and he was disappointed. Maybe he was testing my reaction to the mention of his wife? Before he came into my office, I heard him pacing for 10 minutes in the hall outside my door. Maybe he was just reading bulletin boards, but maybe he was playing with my head, letting me hear his boot steps. I just can't tell what kind of game he's playing and why.
He has a wife, let him be.
I don't know what kind of game he is playing either, but do yourself a favor and quit playing along.
He's creepy.