Trying Again... Keep Dating or Move On?
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|Sat, 12-28-2013 - 8:14am|
I come here any time I attempt to date because I don't think I'm very good at it
As I near the big 4-0, my perspective on relationships has changed a lot. Life changes has helped me relax the proverbial "list" and make a solid attempt to get to know someone and have a good time. I've also released the "pressure", so to speak, of the mad rush to the altar and procreating. Rather, though a committed relationship would be nice, I don't necessarily need marriage, and I've pretty much resolved that kids probably aren't in the cards for me, and I'm OK with that. In fact, the older I get, the less I want them.
That being said, I no longer view every guy at the potential "one" which relaxes us both, but because I am past my "good time" days and want more than a physical relationship, I tend to move slower in that area...which brings up an interesting dilemma.
I have gone out a few times with a guy (another younger one...what's with these young men wanting seeking out older women?) that I have known for a couple of years but never thought to date because we're 7 years apart. We've had a good time and get along well. We have lots of similar interests (AND he loves dogs). On our second "date" I was honest about where I stand on relationships and kids. I told him that I'm not on a mad dash to the altar (nor am I certain that I WANT to get married), and that I am almost 100% sure that I don't want kids. He seemed OK with this, but on our date last night he stated that he wants 3 or 4 kids someday....
That made me think about why we should even continue to date with such differing views on something that major. Part of me thinks to relax and go with the flow. If I were looking for a casual, FWB type relationship (Is that what he's looking for considering we don't have the same long term goals?), I would let it go, but I do want a monogamous relationship--sans babies. It then made me think TOO much. This guy typically dates older women... wouldn't it make more sense for him to look for younger women that have the time and energy to chase around 3 - 4 kids?
Since neither of us is remotely emotionally invested, should I move on? I really don't think I want chldren at all. Or should I just chill out and have a good time (which seems like a waste of time to me...)?