Trying to be respectful

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Trying to be respectful
3
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 12:56pm

Ok, just this weekend, I sent a message to the Ask Mr. Answer Man board because I just broke up with someone. I was a little crushed but decided he was not worth it and to move on.

Well, someone was looking out for me, I think. I was asked out on Monday to see a string quartet, and I went. We had a good time. Nice outing, but we were very platonic with each other.

Why?

Because the guy who asked me out used to date a friend of mine back in January. At the time, she and he had a very fast and furious relationship that fizzled within four weeks. I stayed friendly with him, but after they broke up, he and I didn't really keep in touch too much. I saw him around and said hi. Said we should go see some music sometime.

Well, my friend, who had been dating him, and I had a big falling out back in April. He heard through the grapevine that she and I were no longer friends. He waited a couple of weeks, but then asked me to see the show.

Anyway, both of us like being with each other, but he knows I kind of feel weird going down the dating path with him. My old friend and I don't necessarily run in the same circles, but the grapevine is the grapevine. I'm afraid she might get upset. I'm afraid I might be breaking the friend code??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 8:25pm

toria5...

PG question:

"Can't you just DATE AS FRIENDS...with no expectations or time frame...at least for now?"

I honestly think you need time get over the past relationship before you can logically consider a new one....even if you've known the man for decades!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 11:10pm
"Well, my friend, who had been dating him, and I had a big falling out back in April. He heard through the grapevine that she and I were no longer friends." --- from this I gather that you two are not longer friends, why would dating him be a problem?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 3:16pm
well it sounds like she is a former friend but it still would be nice to mention it to her so she doesn't hear from other sources, but other than that you're probably in the clear to proceed
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