Turned off?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Turned off?
2
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 4:48pm
Is calling a casual male friend I just met a couple of months ago going to turn him off? I believe he knows I have a crush on him and I'm not sure if he has any real interest in me. We have gone out on a couple of dates.

I called him last night and left a voicemail message. His cell phone has caller ID and had to leave a message. It was somewhat of a negative message. I said " I called to say hi. I just found out I failed one of the exams. Just need someone to talk to. Talk to you later. Bye." I needed to talk to someone who would understand since he has gone through the same process as I am going through right now. It's a professional exam and he has also failed a portion of it before. Now I am afraid I have appeared too needy or someone who just can't handle failure. I have read somewhere that in the early stages of dating that you should not let anything negative be put on the table otherwise he will get spooked and be turned off. Could this be true in this case? I haven't heard from him yet. Any insight to this is much appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: awong72
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 12:18am
Anyone worthy of you is not going to be turned off because you called him in distress. Read that again. There's no point to lying to someone in order to get him to stick around...better for him to get to know you and love you for who you are straight away. He's a jerk for not responding straightaway.

I'm confused...he's a casual friend...and you've gone on a couple of dates? You're actually dating and he's ignored your call? that's really bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
In reply to: awong72
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 11:21am
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. The fact is, if my girlfriend, during the first phases of our relationship, made a call like that, I would have called her back. Mainly because I dug her so much.

If anything, you are testing to see if he really does like you.

Follow the 2-1 rule. Never call more than 2 times until you get 1 call back from him.