u deserve a medal if u can figure this..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
u deserve a medal if u can figure this..
3
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 4:36am

Hey,

I've dated a guy for two months now. We started out holding hands, hugging. but when i went to kiss him he freaked out. He told me that he had to take things slow because he got hurt really badly by his ex. A couple of friends confirmed the story. Since then we don't hold hands anymore, but he still messages and tries to make plans . I was wondering do you guys think he still likes me and if so what the hell does one think is going through his head?

Thanks Jo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 6:27am

Jo...

Pianoguy thinks that some men (for reasons known only to themselves) WANT & NEED to take things at a much slower pace than a woman might wish? !

2 questions:

1. Do you NEED to have an answer about your 'possible future lives together' AFTER ONLY DATING FOR 2 MONTHS? That's kind of pushing the envelope, don't you think?

2. Do you have the patience to let the relationship develop ON HIS TIMEFRAME instead of what you might be used to?

6 months to a year of dating might give you a clearer picture of the man's feelings for you? This timeframe might help him recapture a lot of the TRUST that apparently he DOESN'T HAVE for ANY woman?

Are you willing to invest the time? Or would life be easier for you if you left him and began to date somebody else?

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 8:40am

Hey Piano Guy,

Thanks for your help. I understand where you are coming from, but the thing is I'm insecure when it comes to relationships too cause i've been cheated on by guys before and by a guy going yes I want to commit to you, I won't hurt you just makes me more secure. But I guess the only way for me to get over this insecurity is if I play it cool and let it develop right?

Thanks Jo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 11:03am

jozie999...

PG thinks you expressed an even stronger reason for "taking things S-L-O-W!

You've been hurt too!

And the only way that each of you will be able to 'build up the trust' is to pace yourselves at a speed that's comfortable for you both!

Take the EXTRA time....and re-evaluate what you have after 6 months, okay?

Pianoguy