Uh-Oh...Need Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2006
Uh-Oh...Need Help!
3
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 3:42pm

For those who don't know my background, I've been dating a certain young man for just over 2 months now (soon to be 3). We're both in our mid-20's, and although we are not BF/GF, we are dating exclusively (not sure if that even makes a big difference from BF/GF *shrugs*)

Anyways, I think I've gone and done it this time.

What are the signs that I'm falling for this guy? When we first started to date, I never really felt so attached to him. Now, I think about him all the time. I miss him when we are not together, and I feel almost "light-hearted" when he calls me...

I didn't expect to feel this way so suddenly. Is it too soon to feel this way? How do I know if he feels this way about me? How can I not become so attached/How can I put these feelings to rest?

(And no, I have not told him any of this...and I don't plan to for a while!)

A little help please?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 3:56pm

lovely_lace..

Pianoguy CAN'T "think like a woman does!" But...whenever he starts to have a strong personal attachment to any lady...HE WANTS TO SPEND ALL THE FREE TIME HE HAS WITH HER!

This is both good and bad....depending upon many activities and responsibilities are part of your life...as well as those of your b/f.

L-O-V-E is a wonderful thing...providing you don't lose sight of the fact that each of you "had a life" before you got together? So my suggestion is: "DON'T ABANDON ALL YOUR INTERESTS JUST TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO BE WITH YOU!" Ration your personal interests in conjunction with your relationship...and you'll be probably be MUCH HAPPIER about everything?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2006
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 8:07pm

Thanks pianoguy for your input =)

But is it way too soon for me to be feeling this way? I don't get it.

I'm just apprehensive because in the beginning it was always him calling me to come out so that he can see me, talking on the phone at least 2-3x a day to say "hi". Now, he's kinda slowed down that behaviour. We still see each other, but only once a week. And he calls me every night, but only once...twice *maybe*...

I don't want to be falling in love with someone who perhaps does not feel the same way about me... =(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:27pm
Of course it is normal for you to feeling this way. You really like this guy and that's great really. There is no way to keep tabs exactly on whether or not he feels exactly as you do every day but I wouldnt spend time worrying about that. You cant control these things. have faith that someone will match you in emotion and maybe he is the one - if not, that person will show up eventually!
for now concentrate on this - I remember dating a guy years ago who fell for me and wouldnt admit and it and then when I forced the issue because of my own insecurities he admitted he was just not expecting this to happen and had really had it in mind to just be fun and casual....as if to say "damn, who gave my injured heart permission to surface again?" I looked at him and said "Awww...poor you. I love you - you love me. What a tragedy. either we make this work and realize how lucky we and how everyone in the world is looking for this on all of their dating adventures or you bow out immediately"
dont feel anxious or sorry for yourself that your heart is engaging! Remind yourself as you walk past restaurants that this is what most people are searching for. Someone to engage their heart and make it race. Live it! Isnt it better than dating aimlessly?