Unfamiliar territory: Back to dating after LONG term relationship!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2012
Unfamiliar territory: Back to dating after LONG term relationship!
Sat, 10-19-2013 - 1:17pm

Hello everyone-

My name is Kat, I ended my last relationship of 6 years in November of last year. It's been a good time away & I'm def. moved on but now I feel like a fish out of water as I haven't actually ever "Dated". The past relationships were all initaited by the man. I have had random flirts but never really saw anyone as a potential partner until about a month ago. It was a man who's good friends with a girlfriend of mine that I just recently started getting closer to. She always talked about him & said he had been in a dating rut, trying to find someone for a while & that I should hook up with him. I kept pushing away her vibes but then just recently I spent some more time around him as I was helping that girl with her upcoming wedding & since he was the grooms best friend & best man, I spent a few days in close contact with him.

A few things then happened. At the wedding my other friends were pushing for me to go ask him to dance because "he was obviously into me". By the end of the night we finally ended up dancing together which was really nice but brief. We didn't talk much & when it was time to head in (the wedding was on a property that we all spent the night at), I hugged him before bed & said "thank you for dancing with me". He didn't say much after that, I think it took him off guard..

That wedding was back in September, almost a month ago now. We've had very little interaction, most of which I initiated. Recently I realized we both had subscriptions to Match.com & after a few drinks one night I randomly sent him a message that just said "OH wow it's you!! We're so predictable". I have no idea why I said that, I don't even know what that means but I guess I just wasn't thinking. I saw he read the message but never replied on there...

I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what to do now. My friend keeps saying "Ask him out" but after these few little hints of mine & not much response, I'm afraid to do that. Like I said, I'm new to this whole idea of dating so I don't know if I'm just being crazy or what. He is slightly younger than me (I'm 28, he's 26) which worries me too. The fact that he hasn't called me, texted me or emailed me back makes me feel like he's just not that into me. My friend swears he's just a little socially awkward & busy (he has a lot going on right now) but I'm starting to feel rejected.

Does any of this make sense? Am I just crazy?