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|Mon, 09-16-2013 - 5:05pm|
so this is a quite long story but i need your advice..
we have been collegues for a year and a half now, but i felt like we belong together right from the first moment..at that time i was in a relationship, and didnt want to call it off for a moment of foolishness...
this relationship has come to an end not long ago, but now i see a possibility to fulfill a dream..
nobody knows simply nothing about him. if he has someone, what he does in his freetime, nothing. dont get me wrong he is far away from being antisocial. he's the fav among the ladies, hes easy going, very smart, successfull, sexy and although not a typical adonis, still a charmeur...lot of girls tried to get on with him with no luck. at the beginning he was the one ordered by the boss, to show me around and help me until i can work alone, he was always humorous and i felt like we were on the same frequency. we had a grwat time every day. but then again,he was often so with other women too, so im not sure..but sometimes when there was noone else around, he looked at me, sometimes didnt say anything just looked so deep inside me until somebody came in the room.
but as there were sometimes signs...forex. since he works for the company, didnt let anyone know where he lives, but admitted casually in front of everyone the full address (!) as i was speaking with him on a work-dinner. he normally doesnt hang out much with the work crew, but the third month of my working time organised a movie-evening and asked me to come and when i said im not sure id have time for it, he insisted on me coming...he almost always has something to say to me, always tries to make jokes when im unhappy. once asked a collegue of mine if she knew why im sad... i really think he cares about me.
then, one day his brother came to visit him at work. the three of us had a really good time everytime he came, but i didnt really pay much attention to him other than his brother i had feelings for. then as he was going back abroad where he lives, he told me before his flight took of, that he was head over heels with me..probably told his brother too.
since then my beloved guy seems to have taken back from his sweetness a bit, he doesnt seem to pay much attention to me as before. ofcourse i know its probably because of his brother and his feelings towards me. ..
it feels like im waiting for him forever because of my own foolishness. and now, i have no idea how i should begin with this. i dont want to scare him away. maybe i just wanted to see it the way i saw things. maybe he doesnt even like me..
there was a girl, an assistent who was also very much in love with him, but he said he would never go out with her while she works in the same group as he..
i dont want to scare him away, but i just cant let this feeling go...everytime i see him my stomach flips around...if i hear his voice im going crazy,,i csnt even talk properly..and that goes on for over a year now...
i admit i made a mistake, and although i told his brother im not interested in him as a lover, i kept on being on good terms with him and we keep conact on email and skype. but the truth is im not really in him interested..i just wanted to have a common link to start a conversation.
im not sure if he would ever go behind his brothers back as he knows what he feels for me. if i tell his brother, he tells him. if i tell him, i risk our work relationship if he rejects me. ofcourse theres the risk of a possible future breakup, but come on...thats no good reason not to enjoy something incredible. i know we have chemistry. but i have no idea why he rejects women. he is definately not gay...that i can say.. but still. what could be the reason?? do i have a chance? should i told him and risk loosing him anyway? loosing his brother as a friend..a great friend.
what do you think?
p.s. i might be an idiot but i asked him if he would like to drink something with me, but i think it just sounded too casual and he didnt take it as an invitation. that was when he asked if i still go to that little restaurant with my bf. that was when ive told him ge is no more.. he just said omg but then we were interrupted..
i have no freaking idea what to do... i've sent him a post-it later: in case you would still be interested in a drink, and i wrote my number down. no signature.. he didnt write anything but ofcourse i didnt expect it. noone even knows his number btw... hes really full of secrets. he didnt mention the post it ever since..
the funny thing is, he lives almost next door...that just makes it worse....sometimes when im coming home i watch the streets in case hes around..
what should i do girls?? this is unbearable...