Unsure on What to Do?
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|Sat, 12-08-2012 - 11:20pm|
Four years ago I dated an amazing guy for about 6months before my job moved me to the East Coast. I have always wanted to live on the East Coast; having been born and raised on the West Coast. While the decision to move was the hardest decision I have ever had to make; I made it with the intention of continuing my relationship with him long-distance. Unfortunately, he didn't feel the same way and was not a fan of long-distance. We ended our relationship but continued communicating with each other. Moving to the other part of the country was not easy (I think I cried every other night for the first 6months) but he stayed on the phone with me every night until I stopped crying and made the transition that much easier because of his encouragement and positive energy. After about 9 months of me moving we stopped speaking to each other not because of anything except we both moved on with our life.
Earlier this year I reached out to him on his birthday and every time I've been back West I've seen him for a few hours. I found out, not through him, that he was engaged to be married in May but that relationship ended and he was working through the situation. Last week while I was in town, I met up him twice. Once with him and a few friends and once just he and I. Both times I was reminded of how much I cared about him and the thought of getting back to together with him crossed my mind. I wasn't sure if he felt the same way so I asked him. He said that he wanted to see me again while I was in town because he also was thinking about getting back together. He asked if I was moving back and I said that I didn't have any plans to and that's when he said that he didn't believe this would work between us because neither of us is willing to move.
I wanted to reach out to him and let him know that I am not opposed to moving back but I wanted to date long-distance and see if we still have the same great chemistry that we did 4 years ago. We've both gone through some big changes in our life (he with his engagement and me with my move) and I think we have changed in some way so want to be sure we are still compatible and this would turn into something long term before I get up and move back. I wouldn't want to move back and then things don't work out between us. I'm pretty happy living out here and have a great job and wouldn't want to give all that up unless I was in a serious relationship. I'm torn on whether I should tell him how I'm feeling and see how he feels about this or if he's already made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to try a long-distance relationship. A friend of mine suggested that I ask him to go away for a few days and see if we still have chemistry rather than sending the email about how I feel. Another friend thinks if he is interested he would have suggested dating long-distance and that I should just move on.
I'd love an objective view and that's why I'm writing this on the board.
Any advice would be much appreciated!