Update - Feeling Anxious

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Update - Feeling Anxious
3
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 9:22am

Hi everyone,

Well I'm writing to you all for 2 reasons. I wanted to update everyone on what happened over the weekend with the whole Washington DC guy situation. The other reason I'll get into later.

So Friday I got home after my office Christmas party and that night he called me. He said that he had food poisoning and that was why he hadnt called me back. He said he hadnt been to work and he hadnt even answered his mother's 2 phone calls. I believed him and felt silly. So we spoke for a few minutes and I had to go because we were doing a birthday cake for my brother in law. He said he was going to be around for a while so I said if he wanted I would call him later on after the cake. He said that sounded good, and with that, we got off the phone. So I called back later on and got his voicemail. I left a message and got no callback. Fine. So the next day, still nothing so that afternoon I left him a text that said "good afternoon, just wanted to say hi".. Nothing back. And nothing that night and all of Sunday either. What? Did he get food poisoning again?? Then this morning I saw that he was on his myspace, so I know he's not sick again. Now, when we were on the phone Saturday we were discussing what was going on for the holidays, etc. Somehow the discussion got on the topic of whether or not both of us are dating other people. I told him I wasn’t and he said "when I'm involved with someone, I keep it at just one person" and I said "I kind of thought you and I were involved in some way" and he said "and I concur with that" So I took that to mean that everything was cool and I dropped it. But then here he goes again with the ignoring calls and messages bit, and I just think that's not right.. Everyone I talk to thinks something just sounds not right, like something's up and they say I should just move on and forget it.

Ok, now here's the second reason I'm writing… Not so much that I'm worried about him not calling (even though yes, that is really bothering the crap out of me, but I cant control him and MAKE him call me and tell me the truth about what's going on), but what is really scaring me has to do with me. The way I'm feeling right now because of this. I physically have a headache because of it. I'm upset. I feel like sending that same flood of messages that I know is not the right thing to do for so many reasons. I just have that anxious feeling, I cant describe it. I know I need to speak to someone about this, but until I figure out a good place to go, I was hoping you guys wouldn’t mind if I came here to post for a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 10:31am

You might think something isn't up but I disagree. He used to return your calls right away and IM with you, now he doesn't. He claims to have had the flu but even people with the flu tend to check their messages and leave quick ones about their condition. I would guess that he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear but is very much up to something.

I'd have a headache too if I were in your shoes, and I would also be back online trying to find a new beau.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 10:38am
No, I said I DO think something is definately up and not right with him, and so do all of my friends. it's just a total 100% turnaround in his behavior, and yes I know I dont know him that long, but still. I do know how he was with me and how he is now. So I agree with you, I do think something is up. Before it was him talking about visiting me for xmas and even new years, now it's "I dont know if i'll be able to".
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 7:03pm
this situation may be beginning to make you ill. People have that affect on others. When he made the statement about when he dates he just dates one at a time, did he have an accusing tone in his voice? Could he have brought it up because maybe you have a guy friend that you mention to him, etc. His actions are bizarre and leave you feeling like you can't count on what he says. Like calling him after cake, and then he doesn't return the call. It leaves you feeling like you have to find him or have a talk with him...elusive. He may not be right for you yellowlablover1.