Update - Thank you all, But He's Gone...
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| Fri, 12-15-2006 - 9:19am |
Hi all,
Well I just wanted to thank you all for all your good advice and most of your support with all my posts on the Washington DC/NY thing… I know I have some unresolved issues and I'm going to look into getting some help for that as some of you on the boards suggested, but I just wanted to give you all an update on this…
I never heard from the guy, he never answered the 1 voicemail I sent on Wednesday or any of the multiple texts I sent on Wednesday night or yesterday. I did only send one voicemail, and I did not send him any emails or email on his myspace, however I did make the foolish mistake of sending him multiple text messages (I'm a text message junkie)… In total of those 2 days I sent about 8 (I know that's absolutely ridiculous) and I'm so embarrassed now. I sooo wish I could just take those all back, but I cant. But anyway, regardless, for some strange, unknown reason, he just vanished and stopped talking to me. Its really bothering me, but I'm not going to contact him anymore. I even left my phone home today. I know its only been a little while, and I've only known him for a little less than a month, but for some reason I still feel really horrible about this… I even came home and went to bed at 5:30 and didn’t really get back out until I had to get up for work today. And I just feel like crawling back into bed when I get home today. I don’t know, it just bothers me that people can show such interest in you and then just *poof* vanish into thin air, without so much as a text message, not taking your feelings into consideration one bit.

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No I am not going to blame an entire gender because that's what someone says is so. Women are just as bad as men. Bottom line. You can certainly not agree with it, we can respectfully disagree with each other. Women are cheating just as often as men nowadays, I'm not one of them but its happening.
One cannot change the dating world as it is, One can only control oneself and that's what I do. I treat people with respect, and I demand respect for myself. I'm not going to ream someone out, I'm just not going to date someone that doesn't respect me. Bottom line, if one does not like the way one is being treated by someone, then one doesn't continue dating them. One demands to be treated with respect. Too may women these days date jerks and hope to change them and let them get away with treating them with disrespect and then wonder "what happened?" When all along they allowed disrespectful behavior, that isn't on the men, that's on them. Learning to love onesself enough not to put up with that disrespectful behavior will go a long way into how people treat you (collective you). Men as well, if men continue to date women that treat them like garbage and act like primadonnas and they wonder why they get treated like garbage then want to blame them for it.
At some point one has to look in the mirror and say who is the common denominator in the scenario??? If I keep dating jerks, then maybe I am attracted to jerky men and I need to examine my approach to how I date or how I just gloss over bad behavior. Too many people men and women take bad behavior and sweep it away and deal with it for the sake of having someone.
I would rather be alone then deal with disrespectful behavior. Been there done that got the teeshirt. We can respectfully agree to disagree, because I don't think it MOSTLY fall on men. Both genders are to blame in the communication game of bad dating skills.
Edited 12/27/2006 9:44 am ET by lovinhockey17
Smile,
Deirdre
I didn't have a good marriage. I got divorced. I went to counseling and I learned a lot about myself and to trust my instincts.
Women need to trust their instincts. To love themselves enough to walk away. Its too bad that there are too many women out there too desperate for a relationship that they don't love themselves enough to walk away.
SOME men target women. They target women that they can manipulate, that they know won't walk away easily. Time for those women to stop looking for a fairy tale romance and start learning to love themselves. They need to go to counseling, figure out that being with liars, scoundrels, losers isn't better than being alone.
I don't see a growing trend, I think it's always been there. I just think just like everything else (child abuse, divorce, adultery, abductions) people aren't afraid to talk about it anymore, they aren't sweeping it under the rug, it's out in the media etc and so forth. My parents generation and my grandparents generation didn't talk about those things. If your spouse cheated on you, you stayed married to them. You did NOT divorce. Nowadays you don't HAVE to stay married. I don't think it's anymore prevelant then it ever was, I just think it's more out there and more people are talking about it. JMHO.
PS. I am sorry you were targeted. Sometimes bad things just happen to good people and it's just random. But there are people that continue to pick the same type of people. You see it consistently on the boards. So while you may have gotten targeted one time, there are people that feed drama and consistently find themselves in drama filled relationships and it's due to their approach in how they date. It probably doesn't apply to you but it does apply to many people. You know what I'm saying???
Smile,
Deirdre
I agree again, that to understand what went wrong in a marriage, one has to look carefully at all angles, all mistakes to make sure that the next choice is hopefully better.
I am twice divorced. The two ex husbands were very different, so I didn't see it coming with the second husband. But, my story is a little more sordid than yours. My second ex hooked up with a local physican here (small town) and the physician is a very sick individual who is wealthy beyond measure. This physician convinced my ex to make our marriage miserable so I ask for a divorce. Doctor was obsessed with "owning" me. I don't know if he bribed him or not. The physician, to this day keeps harassing me with third parties, vandalizes my property, keeps me under surveillance, it is pretty bad. The local sheriff doesn't see my problem. Probably because said doctor donates beaucoup bucks to his organization. I am still seeking justice and hope to put them all in jail and get his license revoked. No one should go through what I have gone through for the last 5 years.
I don't date anymore. In part, because, part of the "targetting" phenomena is not targetting by some men to vulnerable women. The targetting is more about a group or a handful of people (a la the movie, "the game") who seek to screw up your life one way or another. Reason? Just sickness and evil. So the group (your friends or acquaintences) will make sure to introduce a "great guy" to you or coax you into giving a guy a chance. This guy on purpose will do horrible things to you so you start to question your perception. Your friends think he's great, what is wrong with you? Or things start out great and eventually some "boom" gets lowered.
I seek to gain justice. But, what crazy doc did is make sure that any male that approaches me to date (money talks) will be some loser with major dysfunctionality. He (crazy doc) wants to alter my perception of myself by trying to get me to think that I am a "freak magnet". When I am most certainly not. But, one last attempt at dating showed me that he will always put abusive men in my path. In 3 weeks I got to see "Mr. Nice Professional" turn into Mr. Ugly. I swiftly removed him from my life. but I realized later it was crazy doc who encouraged this. This is illegal and I will use the case "Summers vs. Bailey" to help me gain civil remedies. Cheryl Summers's life was intruded upon and interfered with and this appealate case is a landmark for me to use.
The problem is that this doctor is targetting everyone in my immediate world. I have a list of 16 people who have been injured, died, murdered, maimed at the hands of doctors in the hospital, and no one cares. All in a couple of years. I know it is him, after 5 years, you just know someone's MO. It is so I can't get help or "go home again." I won't run because someone tipped me off that my face is on the web and he'll find me where ever I go. I don't want this man in my life, he is a horrible creature masquerading as a human being. I try to warn people, but as you know, everyone has to learn for themselves.
The problem is that this doctor questioned everyone in my life about me many years ago, my likes, dislikes and they thought it was okay. It is not okay. If he were a bum on the street they would have called the police but since he is rich, he is just "shy", "insecure", "eccentric". So all of these people are "accessories". they prefer I just run and take the crime to a new location but I will get justice on those who would not go to the police after I begged them for help, right here.
The problem for me is that he hired so many men to destroy me - because I took him for a restraining order 4 years ago (I didn't get it) and I humiliated him in court. Ever since that day, the violence against me, my cat, my property, car, etc. escalated severely. Payback sucks and eventually I will have my day. I stay faithful to that emotion - having my day and him in jail.
Smile,
Deirdre
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