*URGENT* Im scared...
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*URGENT* Im scared...
| Mon, 12-20-2004 - 3:09pm |
I really need some advice as to what to do about this guy I just met. First off, we met online. Second of all he's 26 and I'm 20. He's also been married for 6 years and has two kids from that marriage, 5 and 6 years old. I have never been in a serious relationship and never had kids. But I told him I was willing to try and make this relationship work. Also, we have only been talking to each other for a week and he's already telling me that he's ready to get married again now. He says he wants a "whole" family and is willing to come to California to be with me. I asked him what about his kids? I told him that's not fair to them, but he said they don't even know him anyways and he said that leaving them is but a small sacrifice to have something true. I don't know what to do, he's going to fast for me, I am so scared because I feel I have gone to far and I can't turn back. But what do you make of this guy? He has no family, his father died two years ago and his mother and sisters were killed in a car accident 2 months before he came back from Iraq. Could he be just trying to live a fantasy of having the perfect family? Please help me!!

Well I'd be scared too. Any man willing to give up his children wouldn't be a man I would want to be involved with. Sounds like he doesn't want that responsibility. What would make you think that he's trying to live out a fantasy of having a perfect family if he's so ready to abandon his children???? He has a family and he's willing to give that up.
I'd run FAR away from this guy, he sounds like he has a lot of issues.
You are right to be concerned...this guy is not all there emotionally or mentally, in any way, shape or form. I would stop communicating with him and BLOCK him from emailing you further.
I would also urge you, if you are going to continue to connect with people online, to limit your interactions with people who live close to you and met them IN PERSON as soon as possible. The only way to really get to know someone is to spend time with them IN PERSON.
Sheri
First off, this isn’t a relationship, so why are you willing to try to make something work that doesn’t exist? This is just some random guy, who without knowing you at all, is wanting to come move in with you and abandon his kids. How is it that his kids “don’t know him” if he was married to their mother for six years anyway? That sounds more like he’s trying to run away from paying the child support. If he moves, it would take some time to track down where exactly he is before his paychecks can be garnished again. What I can further read into things is that since he has no family, disappearing from his responsibilities wouldn’t be too hard.
You haven’t gone too far, it’s been a few days that you’ve been talking to him. You owe him nothing at all. What I’d expect is that he has other women he’s talking to in the exact same way. He probably bounces around from place to place finding women to sweet talk into keeping a roof over his head. Since you haven’t been to see where he lives, you don’t know who he might be living with right now. Is he actually divorced even, and how would you know? It sounds more like the urgency is that his current living arrangement isn’t going to last and he’s getting desperate.
Don't walk, RUN.
This guy has serious issues coping with reality if he is willing to just pick up and leave his own children for a woman he's never met in person and only met virtually a week ago. You are probably a very sympathetic person, so the lost puppy act is working on you. You should be scared for your life. This guy meets the profile for a first-class psycho.
In short, stay away.
Ivy
lunaslament...
This is a no-brainer.
If any man can just casually end a 6-year marriage...and ignore his 2 children...in favor of someone (YOU) who has no relationship experience at all...
What makes you think he won't pull the same crap again when he gets tired of being married to you...along with any children the 2 of you might have together?
Please wake up. There are too many men who WANT a wife, to have a family, and are more than willing to make a marriage work.
Pianoguy