VERY early stage question
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| Mon, 10-11-2004 - 11:12pm |
I met and hooked up with this guy from my school last week. It went really well -- he said the nicest things and was so incredibly respectful (at the risk of sounding like a slut (eye-roll), I've hooked up with a number of guys in the past who have been somewhat less concerned with my wants and limits). At one point he even sat up to look at me and told me that, no matter what happened, he wanted me to know he had an incredible evening and thought I was really great. In the morning he got my cell phone number (his own initiative -- I had said at one point that I wanted to see him again but in a very non-pressuring way) and called my phone right away so I would have his. Later that afternoon he called to see if he had left his wallet at my place (it was a little chatty for just that, though). Then he said he'd call back later. He called the next day early afternoon and apologized for not calling the night before, and just chatted about what I was up to this weekend, he mentioned that he had just woken up and so he wasn't able to think very well, but he would call me back later to see what's up.
He didn't call back, so I went out with a friend that night and left him a voicemail saying I was going out with friends and if he wanted to come along, cool, but either way give me a call when he got the chance. I figured this was okay since he had already called me twice, just to chat, including first thing when he woke up!
So the last I heard from him was Saturday. And reading that, since it's only two days later, I *know* this is completely lame but I would just like some opinions, particularly opinions that point to him being very interested. We have the next couple days off school so I won't see him till Thursday unless he calls and we do something. It's not a huge deal if he's not into me, but I do really like him and would like to see him again. Any thoughts? Thanks.
btw, we are both professional students (not college).

The two are NOT related.
He was just saying that he regards sex as you do - a very "casual" thing that is for physical gratification and has no emotional "zingo" push button that automatically defaults into an emotional attachment/involvement with the sexual gratification partner.
It's a relief for people that consider sex to be about physical gratification - to find an opposite sex person that considers sex in the same vein.
Because it means that within reason and limitations, provided nobody's morals or boundaries are being stepped on - that these two people could meet up without alot of fanfare, hoopla, and "facade" of dating - and get laid....WITHOUT alot of negative aftereffects of "why doesn't he call".
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
I talked to him on the phone for 4 1/2 hours the next night. He was supposed to call me the next morning so we could go out.
The next afternoon, I hadn't heard from him, so I called him. Got his voice mail. He called me back, told me he'd slept in really late and that he'd been "on the phone" with "work stuff" all day. Said he was going to take a shower and call me back. He never called me back...not till several days later.
This kind of behavior continued. I ended up seeing him at the bar again one night, we went home together, spent the night together and hooked up, had a good morning the next morning together. He told me he'd call me later that day and we'd hang out. Well, he called a couple times, each time saying, "I'm just gonna do this and then I'll call you back." Well, he never ended up calling me back after the last time I talked to him in which I suggested we get dinner.
Off and on he'd call me over the next couple of weeks. I was starting to brush him off.
Then late one night he called me all drunk telling me he "just had to" see me. I refused. Said, "Hey - you keep blowing me off, you only call me when you feel like it - no. If you wanna see me, call me tomorrow when it's not late and you're not drunk."
The next time my phone rang was a woman telling me to "stay away from her man."
So your situation reminds me a lot of mine. I really think if he were very interested in you, he would be calling you more often. And he'd be letting you know it. I never would have believed that advice if it hadn't happened to me - and it's true. The guy I'm seeing now lets me know he's interested - I don't have time to wonder because he lets me know.